Shes going...

[Artemis]

Well...the girl I have been...cant think of a word for this....in love with? thats too strong....well the girl ive really liked for a long time (you remember the post ages back about letting her get back with her boyfriend) is going to uni soon...and shes single..

I know I shouldnt go out with her...for 1) I like this other girl aswell...but not as much as her
2) shes just too old and too much for me...

But....shes single...she really likes me...she calls me Sweet Heart all the time, and also Stud Muffin and how she likes me and such...but...should...I atleast tell her before she goes....I think she fancies me back...shes said I love you before, and written it in my yearbook...but that could simply be because shes very friendly to me....

If any of my friends who visit this board see this...please dont say anything about it...I dont want to ruin my friendship with her before she leaves..

What do you guys think i should do? I can hardly go without thinking about her to be honest....I...dunno...

[Chase]

What do you have to lose by letting things be said? My advice is to go ahead and do it, why think back a few years from now wondering what would have happened...?

[Meysha]

Same thing happened to me a few years ago. I guy I really like was a few years older than me and we going to be finishing school and then going to university a long way away. But I really liked him. So I went for it.
Well what can I say... I had the best 2 months or so with him before he left! And eventhough we broke up and I've got a great new boyfriend, we're still friends and catch up whenever one of us is in town.

So I guess I'm saying - Go for it! If it doesn't work out and she does totaly sell you out (which won't happen because she sounds like a nice girl from what you've said) but if that does happen at least she'll be moving away so you won't have to chance that awkward running into on the street stage. And if it works out - then you'll be happy (like me) coz you'll know that you took a chance and it paid off!

[Artemis]

its just ive never felt about a girl as strongly as I felt for her before...and I still feel rather strongly now... I dunno what to do...

[Artemis]

P.s. this may be another reason why I wont post over the next few weeks...I rekon im gonna be very upset the last week...I know its dumb cause im only 16...but still...

[Andrea K]

go for it, what's the worst that could happen? she says she just wants to be friends, or if she says she doesnt feel the same way about you then at least you know how she feels and you wont have to wonder about how she felt about you when she leaves

carpe diem! im sure everything will work out great!

[meotter]

i say go for it also... never live your life with "what if" hanging over your head... you'll never forgive yourself.

that being said, don't be a dope about it either... if the signs are pointing to shutting up, then do that instead i'm telling you that one from experience also...

one thing to consider is this: what if she reacts poorly (for some unknown reason) can you deal with the thought of not being friends with her anymore? i thought i could, until it happened, and then i realised that i couldn't. in some conviluted way i guess it was for the best since now i know and don't have to live with what if, but that whole unsure flirty stage was pretty nice to. but those were some very sad days for me when i realised i had lost one of my closest friends. (some would say she wasn't a very good friend if she couldn't deal with "the talk" but we've since gotten over it and remain closest of friends again.)

consequently her inadequacy to handle the situation at the time & the time we spent apart served to strengthen our friendship in the end, since there really is no subject too taboo for us to speak about now

[meotter]

oh yea... good luck arte if you decide to tell her, be confident in what you're saying, it will come across better.

[photogoddess]

Arty - There is more than one couple on this forum that are together because we took a leap of faith and said what was on our minds. One of those couples is even having a baby in 8 months. (congrats guys!) I say... go for it! The answer to your questions is always going to be no unless you ask.

[craig]

Hey man; there is nothing more confusing or uncomfortable or scary or (seemingly) death defying then matters of the heart. Being uncertain or unclear may be our defense mechanism, so as to not get your heart broken. That is all well and good.

Personally; I say pursue her with the same vigor and passion that you pursue your photography. Passion should never be denied. Passion is tough on the heart but good for the soul. If she turns you down then you can say "well at least I gave it my all, may be she is not the gal for me". "Now I know". Ten bucks says she is gonna say "ohh Arty; I have dreamed of this moment for months"

All that being said... Do as you feel and never follow. Know that we are here for you. If the million emotions that are going thru your head keep you from posting that is ok. We will not be divorcing you anytime soon. Please, please know that we are all tight. Communication may be key. Venting and disgust with love and the world will be understood on this end!!!!!!!!!!!

[Xmetal]

Arty: Life's too short to sit around wondering what the right course of action is, if you sit and think about it too much you'll bail out and (further down the track) wish you hadn't.

So if i were you i'd get off my little 16y/o arse and give this girl something you really want her to remember you for!

Run out, find her, tell her you lurve her and wanna please her......and pray you get the right response.


Moral to the story is: you have to put in the leg work for love to find you and bind you to the person you want to love!

Isn't that right PG/Malacite(sp), Hobbes/Alison?

[Artemis]

Thanks guys...I know your right...what worrying is I havent seen her about at college lately so ill have to hope she comes back before she leaves so i can chat to her....just...would like her to know is all thanks again...

[Alison]

I hope you're able to talk to her before she leaves. Everyone here is right on that you have to say how you feel or you'll always wonder. Chances are that if you think she feels the same she probably does, and maybe she's just as nervous to say something to you. Love is a game of chance, but I think it's better to know than to wonder.

[Scurra]

Yeah I say go for it Arty, I recently did and got knocked back by the girl, but I still have a best friend from the whole experience! I say go for it, you have nothing to lose and something good is bound to come of it whether it be love or just a strong friendship.

[Artemis]

Prob is shes moving away...never see her again :P

[carlita]

Quote: Originally Posted by Artemis

its just ive never felt about a girl as strongly as I felt for her before...and I still feel rather strongly now... I dunno what to do...

i think you answered your own question there.

[PreludeX]

arty, you my man, your a stud.. you know it... date her.. go for it.. keep it safe :p

[Artemis]

I wish I could...but I dunno if I could possibly do it

[JonMikal]

what would you be if you didnt do it Arty? think of all the days ahead of you; wishing you had said something. that alone will eat at you more than what you're going through now. remember though, if you chose not to say anything, you will only have yourself to beat up in the end. when you approach her, take the spirit of your friends there and here in this board with you; but more importantly find strength from within and do what you know is right. whatever the outcome, you will be a stronger individual for it!

the best to you and i hope the weight of this burden you carry lifts soon!

[Meysha]

If you're having trouble making that first step. Why don't you just ask her out somewhere as a 'going away' thing. Say you wanna catch up before she goes away. Not somewhere romantic....But make sure it's somewhere that can become romantic.

I remember my first date with my boyfriend and I used this tactic. There's a big market place open at night time in town and it's a fun place to go, so I told my then 'friend-and-hoping-to-soon-be-my-boyfriend', Adrian, that we should go down there to grab something to eat and then we can have a look around the market. So we did that, and we were really starting to hit it off, so we went for a walk along the esplanade (big nice ocean front (with mudflats bleurk!) just over the road from the night markets. That is very romantic with the full moon and ocean before you. And so we ended up chilling out on one of the benches in the park there. So great!

I too thought he was going to be leaving in a few months time for uni, but I gave it a shot anyway. He ended up changing his plans and staying in my city for a year then leaving to go study for a year, then I left for France for a year. But we're still together... 3 and a half years down the track! See it works!

Here's a link to help you choose a date spot!
http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/dateideas.shtml
It's also got flirting tips and romantic ideas!