Stupid Headlines

[sm4him]

What prompted this wasn't actually a stupid headline, but an entire stupid paragraph, which our local news excels at producing. It read:
"Around 3 am Monday morning, a man and woman said they were driving around in a corn field when they ran into the river. They got out of the water and walked about a mile to a barn, where a farmer was working."

Err...so you're driving around, at 3 a.m. IN a corn field. And then you "run into the river." Did they first get out of the car in order to run into the river??
Then evidently, they get out of the river, walk a mile, happen upon a barn, where a farmer just happens to be working. AT 3 A.M.

Further reports have clarified the situation. They were on a nearby road, evidently lost control of the vehicle, drove THROUGH a corn field and into the river. Then walked to the nearest *farmhouse*, not barn, and got the attention of the residents.
The story is way more entertaining the first way, though.

SO...that made me think about stupid headlines, article snippets and massively ignorant emails I get (usually from irate passengers). I collect them and have a whole notebook of them that I hadn't looked through in a while. So I spent some time looking at some of my favorites this afternoon.

One of my VERY favorites: An email sent by an agency director, regarding the appropriate terminology to use regarding a grant that had to do with ending the chronic problem of homelessness. Unfortunately, she called it "The Plan to End Chronic Homeliness."

What are some of your favorite "stupid headlines" (or similar gaffes)?

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[480sparky]

"Tornado Sweeps Through Cemetery. Hundreds Dead!"

[o hey tyler]

[naptime]

Deputy: Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks

Traffic Stop Leads To Multiple Charges



Read more: Deputy: Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks - Greenville News Story - WYFF Greenville

[naptime]

oh dear god....

i'll never find a better one:




Well, Now, That's a Headline | Tosh.0 Blog

[sm4him]

oh dear god....

i'll never find a better one:




Well, Now, That's a Headline | Tosh.0 Blog

L.O.L.

I meant to bring my folder home with me and take photos of some of mine. But one of them I remember is:
"Man Accused of Stealing Officer's Fun"

[sm4him]

[Orrin]