10 Fun Things to do...

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Mitica100, Jun 21, 2004.

  1. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    10 Fun Things to do when Jehovah Witnesses come to visit:

    1. Answer the door naked and carrying a weapon. (immediate results)

    2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of Christian charity lasts.

    3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.

    4. Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty Two children. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat. (2 Kings in Chapter 2, umm... somewhere near the end).

    5. Excuse yourself from the front door and DO NOT come back.

    6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (bookie, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearful confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)

    7. Pick an often repeated word in their vocabulary (God, Jesus, heaven, sins, etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.

    8. Same as above, except say "beep" instead of giggling.

    9. Guys can show an intense interest in their spiel. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosiery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...] throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7.) If they're still there when you are done, ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.

    10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
     
  2. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Rats! And I just had some at my door last weekend....first time in a looong time, but I was polite. I felt bad when Odin got through the front door and kinda terrified the little child they had with them. :p He's harmless, but sure does put up a fuss with folks at the door.
     
  3. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Odin, the Scandinavian Father of all Gods?? :lol: :lol:
     
  4. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    Whilst on holiday in Greece this week, i was confronted by a "Time share Rep" you know, these lovely people who try and part you from your money into buying into a shared accomodation. Here's how the conversation went:

    Rep: morning. You from England?

    Me: Yep

    Rep: England England?

    Me: Yep

    Rep: Here's a scratch card for free. You may win a prize.

    Me: Well there's a stunner (Sarcasm)

    Rep: Go on. You've nothing to lose

    Me: Yes there is. My patience with you

    Rep: It'll only take a minute to find out


    Me: It'll only take a second for me to punch your lights out

    Rep: Don't be like that. I'm only doing my job

    Me: I'm only on holiday and if you ask me one more question.............

    Rep: Have a nice day sir.

    Me: Piss off

    I'm sorry but these people are the scum of the earth
     
  5. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Why yes, that's him. :wink: I'd like to lay claim for that name, but I adopted him when he was just under 2 years old. Let's just say his first owners were very original thinkers.

    Also answers to O-dog and the Big O. :p
     
  6. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Aww... Cute!!!
     
  7. havoc

    havoc Jedi something or other

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    This goes along with asking the missionaries how much they charge for their women.... When they come to the door i often ask how much it would cost to buy their partner (the female ones). That usually sends them away quickly. If not then start making kissing gestures and flicking your tongue at them in sexual ways. That gets them gone in a hurry.
     
  8. ShutterBug4_4

    ShutterBug4_4 TPF Noob!

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    :shock:


    :|



    :)



    :lmao:
     
  9. westman

    westman TPF Noob!

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    :cheer: good job buddy
     

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