I found out something that was quite confronting and stopped me in my tracks a little yesterday. The company I work for (which I joined almost 3 weeks ago) held skin cancer screening sessions yesterday, flying a doctor from Sydney to Melbourne. I booked in, of course, as I have been meaning to get my skin checked for ages but, like most people, hardly EVER go to the doctors even when I'm sick...let alone for a check when I'm not. A bruise-like circular mark, shaded black and brown in places, showed up almost overnight under my big toenail on my right foot about 2 and half weeks ago and I pointed it out to my fiance, to which he went "hmmm could be just a bruise..." I know I didnt bang it so I doubted it and had a closer look and thought "It looks like an irregular shaped mole under there...should have that checked to see if it's not skin cancer when I get the time..." So I show this doc yesterday, when it was my turn for a check and instantly he grew very concerned and told me that, if it's diagnosed as what he is pretty sure it is, then it is VERY serious. He told me it's likely to be a melanoma. Then he made me lie down and checked my lymph nodes on my groin area and under my knees. He delayed seeing my other workmates so that he could go to a phone and start calling around to get me in to get a biopsy. Some told him I could come in Wednesday next week, which he said "No, I want her seen today or tomorrow...!". Since it's almost Xmas, he was told we were lucky to even get Wednesday. So, he booked me into a place for Wednesday. He kept saying he wished he could do it himself but he didn't have any equipment. I spoke to him today and he said that all he wanted me to do yesterday was go home because he felt for me running around work slammed-busy and having to smile etc. So, looks like I'm getting biopsied on Wednesday. The surgeon isnt sure whether he will be able to do it, since it's under the toenail, or whether he'll need to send me to a hospital. I got home last night and, being the usual 'have-to-know-EVERY-detail-about-something' person I am, I researched melanoma's (sub-searched -melanoma's under the toenail) and felt like I was gonna throw up. My fiance said "enough" and booted me off the computer, saying he had to send emails for something or other but I know he did it to stop me scaring myself any further.When I spoke to the nurse of the clinic I booked into, she said "word of advice, DON'T go digging about on the net, it's not gonna do your mind any good..." I told her Josh kicked me off the comp and she said "Smart man..good on him..." This is a strange feeling, like the world has slowed down to a stop and I'm lookin around goin "huh? Why we stoppin..." only to realize everyone else is still riding the merry-go-round but I'm suddenly standing on the sidelines by myself. I've been looking at things randomly today and appreciating it for what it all is, life....in all it's interestingness...amongst other descriptions. Please everyone, this was a wake up call for me yesterday and I'm hoping it might serve as a wake up call to you too... Don't be complacent about these things....if something seems odd...don't think " oh I'll get around to seeing a doctor about it...." Just go, check it out. If I hadn't joined this company and they hadn't held these skin screening sessions, I might have gotten around to seeing a doc in maybe 4- 5 months time. Maybe when the advanced signs started kicking in, that might've prompted me, I was that complacent. Oh, guess what else is Wednesday? Josh and I have our first interview with our cae worker at The Australian Department of Immigration! So, we're seeing her at 10:30 am that morning, where we shall spill every private detail we possess (salaries, ex boy-friends names and relationship duration etc) to beg for a spousal visa for my boy...then it's to the clinic at 3pm. Wish us luck for that day and somewhere in between and after maybe?! We'll be needing it!