A wee wake up call

Luminosity · Dec 8, 2006

I found out something that was quite confronting and stopped me in my tracks a little yesterday.

The company I work for (which I joined almost 3 weeks ago) held skin cancer screening sessions yesterday, flying a doctor from Sydney to Melbourne. I booked in, of course, as I have been meaning to get my skin checked for ages but, like most people, hardly EVER go to the doctors even when I'm sick...let alone for a check when I'm not.

A bruise-like circular mark, shaded black and brown in places, showed up almost overnight under my big toenail on my right foot about 2 and half weeks ago and I pointed it out to my fiance, to which he went "hmmm could be just a bruise..."

I know I didnt bang it so I doubted it and had a closer look and thought "It looks like an irregular shaped mole under there...should have that checked to see if it's not skin cancer when I get the time..."

So I show this doc yesterday, when it was my turn for a check and instantly he grew very concerned and told me that, if it's diagnosed as what he is pretty sure it is, then it is VERY serious. He told me it's likely to be a melanoma. Then he made me lie down and checked my lymph nodes on my groin area and under my knees.

He delayed seeing my other workmates so that he could go to a phone and start calling around to get me in to get a biopsy. Some told him I could come in Wednesday next week, which he said "No, I want her seen today or tomorrow...!".

Since it's almost Xmas, he was told we were lucky to even get Wednesday. So, he booked me into a place for Wednesday.

He kept saying he wished he could do it himself but he didn't have any equipment. I spoke to him today and he said that all he wanted me to do yesterday was go home because he felt for me running around work slammed-busy and having to smile etc.

So, looks like I'm getting biopsied on Wednesday. The surgeon isnt sure whether he will be able to do it, since it's under the toenail, or whether he'll need to send me to a hospital.

I got home last night and, being the usual 'have-to-know-EVERY-detail-about-something' person I am, I researched melanoma's (sub-searched -melanoma's under the toenail) and felt like I was gonna throw up. My fiance said "enough" and booted me off the computer, saying he had to send emails for something or other but I know he did it to stop me scaring myself any further.When I spoke to the nurse of the clinic I booked into, she said "word of advice, DON'T go digging about on the net, it's not gonna do your mind any good..." I told her Josh kicked me off the comp and she said "Smart man..good on him..."

This is a strange feeling, like the world has slowed down to a stop and I'm lookin around goin "huh? Why we stoppin..." only to realize everyone else is still riding the merry-go-round but I'm suddenly standing on the sidelines by myself. I've been looking at things randomly today and appreciating it for what it all is, life....in all it's interestingness...amongst other descriptions.

Please everyone, this was a wake up call for me yesterday and I'm hoping it might serve as a wake up call to you too...

Don't be complacent about these things....if something seems odd...don't think " oh I'll get around to seeing a doctor about it...." Just go, check it out.

If I hadn't joined this company and they hadn't held these skin screening sessions, I might have gotten around to seeing a doc in maybe 4- 5 months time. Maybe when the advanced signs started kicking in, that might've prompted me, I was that complacent.

Oh, guess what else is Wednesday? Josh and I have our first interview with our cae worker at The Australian Department of Immigration! So, we're seeing her at 10:30 am that morning, where we shall spill every private detail we possess (salaries, ex boy-friends names and relationship duration etc) to beg for a spousal visa for my boy...then it's to the clinic at 3pm.

Wish us luck for that day and somewhere in between and after maybe?! We'll be needing it!

Corry · Dec 8, 2006

Oh, my, Lumi...that's so scary. :hug:: I'm sending every last bit of good vibes I can muster.

I pray it all turns out ok. :hug::

Big Mike · Dec 8, 2006

:hugs:

I'll be thinking of ya, keep your chin up

Luminosity · Dec 8, 2006

Thanks guys! :hugs:

I decided to hide my blog post about this, saving it as a 'draft' so it won't show online, because I've given the case worker my blog site address as proof that Josh and I have been in a relationship etc etc. You gotta show these guys things like that, along with birthday cards, emails, letters etc etc etc...to show history. So, I don't want her reading that I have a health problem, just in case it hinders our case.

Alison · Dec 8, 2006

That is a lot going on in one day! I am SO glad that you found that spot at just the right time. I have my fingers crossed that everything is okay. I'm thinking good thoughts on the immigration front as well. Speaking of blog, I need to catch up on yours, I bet you've got lots of wedding planning going on!

Puscas · Dec 8, 2006

*sending good vibes your way*

That is scary and I can imagine you went on the internet. But worrying about all the things you don't know...you have a good man.
I hope everything turns out all right for you.

pascal

Luminosity · Dec 8, 2006

Thank you, thank you! That is very appreciated right now! :heart:

Yeah, it'll be a doozy of a day but it's kinda appropriate that, in the last few days left of 2006, we're gonna be whammied like that as it's been a whammy of a year. Everything has happened, or happening, this year with moving countries, travelling, finding new jobs, being in-between jobs, selling Josh's condo in Toronto (still going), wedding planning , immigration, health probs, etc etc. I just look at it this way, we get it all sorted out in one crazy year then hopefully catch our breath and enjoy it all next year!

Josh looks so drained and like he is running on the whiff of a petrol rag and now he says all else has fallen away and if only one thing turns out well, it's getting this (likely) cancer cut out of me and my health returning to normal. I didn't want this on his shoulders too, as I've been sitting there over the last week telling him to keep going and "that it'll all be fine"...before this lil health thang came along...so it's like "oh and another thing...".
He was at work on the phone to his mum and apparently he was kinda at a loss saying "I'd been waiting for my life to be good for a change and when it seemed like I'd found good, I feel like she might slip away too..." kinda thing but I think that's him doing his usual "prepare for the worst, hope for the best".

I emailed his fam because after Josh spoke to his mum, they all called and left messages (the C word is a sore spot for them, they've lost 7 people to it) and told them it'll be fine...a walk in the park (scuse the pun). It really will be because people have melanomas removed ALL the TIME and are fine, if it's caught early!

This is just a hiccup! My nan is looking after me up there and I believe I was led to this great new job at just the right time for a reason...because this was discovered there... when it wouldnt have been discovered and checked out if I hadn't been there!

Everything happens for a reason, always believed that and this just supports that belief :flower:

Puscas, I aint researching it on the net any more haha! He's right, it's just a case of scaremongering myself because it's all written up to be frightening! There's an ad circulating on tv at the moment though, of a young girl getting surgery for skin cancer and I have to switch it over or look away.

EBphotography · Dec 8, 2006

Ooh, Lumi! I wish you the best of luck. :hugs: You're a trooper!

Luminosity · Dec 12, 2006

Thanks EB!

Well, tomorrow's the day! The doc appointment got pushed earlier, now it's at 2:20 pm. Hoping there won't be a delay in getting this out of me! I want it over and done with and OUT!

danalec99 · Dec 12, 2006

Luminosity said:
people have melanomas removed ALL the TIME and are fine, if it's caught early!

Yeah, that's what I just read. You're fine!

BoblyBill · Dec 12, 2006

Luminosity, I hope that all goes well... I pray that they miraculously don't find any cancer tomorrow. If they do... that you will be able to walk out of the doctors office tomorrow "C" free.

terri · Dec 12, 2006

Luminosity said:
Thanks EB!

Well, tomorrow's the day! The doc appointment got pushed earlier, now it's at 2:20 pm. Hoping there won't be a delay in getting this out of me! I want it over and done with and OUT!

I'm just now seeing this. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but glad it's been caught.

Take care, beautiful lady! :hug:: I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, give a shout when you can!

Corry · Dec 12, 2006

Still sending good vibes, Lumi!

Luminosity · Dec 13, 2006

Awwww thank you AGAIN darlins!!!

Your good vibes reached Australia! I definitely felt them!

It was funny at the immigration office this morning. We get in, after bouncing 'left of field' questions off each other, such as

"Ok, which side of the bed do you sleep on....The one nearest the door....ok!"

"ok, so we use Colgate toothpaste but we aren't LOYAL Colgate users, no...we buy whatever's on sale, ok that's GREAT!"

etc etc :lol:

We get in and within 5 minutes the case worker says "well we have more then enough evidence and I'm satisfied you are a real couple and have been defacto (common law) for at least 12 mths. You should have your visa acceptance letter in a couple of days etc etc..."

We're like :shock:, look at each other, look at her...."Huh? That's IT?! You're not gonna ask us any questions?! We also thought we'd have to sit back and wait a couple of months to get an answer....?!"

She's looking at us all relaxed and says "No, I'm satisfied. You have given me more then enough evidence"

We weren't gonna fight it, although I was wanting her to ask away! We walked out of the building laughin and jumpin up and down and I was so happy I kissed Josh and grabbed his butt and a woman sitting nearby saw that and laughed and said "Oh you two are SO cute!" :lol:

The docs was...a little gruesome.

He took a look at 'the mole-like thing imbedded under my big toenail, told me that he would need to take the nail completely off and did I want to do it today?

I shuddered and replied "Uh yes, I want this over and done with, no more waiting.."

So, a nurse held my hand and let me squeeze it while he stuck needles in the webbing between big toe and next toe, then injected needles about 6 times all over toe. I reverted back to little-girl sookiness and when he asked me if I was ok, I was holding back tears and went "uh huh...just do it, make sure I DON'T FEEL A THING!"

So, I was told to close my eyes and not to look and felt the pressure of tugging and slicing and pulling and toenail was off and I started feeling pain, even though he had injected a blocker and numbed the area. It started stinging and hurtin like a muvver! I'm like "It's hurtin, is that normal?!" He said that kinda pain was normal, and proceeded to take whatever it was out to send to biopsy. Put the toenail back on and bandaged it.

I sat up and said "I'm sorry, toe! Don't hate me"

Basically been given strict instructions to keep it elevated at all times, can only walk and lower it to go to the bathroom and shower (with it in a plastic bag). Will get the results in a few days and go back to work on Tuesday, as they need to change the dressing on Monday.

Foot's elevated on cushions on the desk as I type and toe is still throbbing like it's been chopped off, no matter how strong the painkillers are.

Doc told me that if I don't stay off my feet and go to parties and such, my toe will tell him it's been partying, come Monday, which was funny. Josh says he can say anything smartalec to me and will be safe as I can't catch him, hobbling like I am now.

I just STARTED this awesome new job! I feel awful that I'm taking time off but they are being wonderful about it and telling me not to worry.

So I love you guys for the good vibes! :hugs: :hugs: