Bat Mitzvah party- gallery: critique wanted

Osmer_Toby · Mar 15, 2004

hi guys. shot these this past sunday for a Jewish girl's coming of age celebration. i'll be adding to this gallery as the week progresses, so i'm leaving a link to the gallery index page instead of inundating TPF with a bunch of pics. i posted 5 of them here, or you can click on link to view entire gallery.
thanks in advance for all input

http://www.angelfire.com/ct3/tobyburhans/see_life_website/Cooper/index.htm
the celebrated young lady in thoughtful repose

the celebrated young lady and her aunt

her grandfather

one of her friends

her uncle was a harley dude!! he damn near begged me to shoot him & the bike, when as soon as i saw him enter the room, with that jacket on, i had decided to ask him. he beat me to it!

markc · Mar 15, 2004

Out of that group of head shots, only the last one (#4) works for me, mainly because it's from back a ways. When getting in tight to a head, candids can be tricky. The viewer is usually expecting some sort of connection at that distance rather than an observation. Eye contact can be important. In #10 there's eye contact, but it looks like he was caught by surprise.

#2 has a decent positioning, even though he's not looking at the camera, but it looks like he is in conversation with someone. I feel like I'm intruding. If he was just looking off to the side without that big grin, I might feel different about it.

#1 could be like #4 if it was pulled back a little more. Are any of these cropped? Do you have more image on the original to work with?

#3 is like #2, where a third person is involved off camera. It's less of an intrusion, but I still feel a disconnection.

I'd like to see #13 without the vignetting. You might try cropping just a touch tighter instead. I think there's more potential there that what's on the screen. The vignetting gets a little close on #2, also. It looks like it's intruding in on the subject.

The group shots suffer a bit from uneven lighting, and in #5 several people aren't looking at the camera. Posing people in a group shot is an art in itself, trying to get everyone lined up in a way that has graphic appeal. You actually have some decent material for a couple of head-shots if you have the resolution to crop in. The biker in #9 has great lighting on his face, but unfortunately has a blue jacket as a background. The blond girl in the light-blue **** in the #5 has potential for one also.

I like #6, but it and #11 are cropped a touch close at the top and bottom.

#1 would be grand if she were looking at the camera.

The silhouette in #11 doesn't have a lot of detail, but that might be more of a person preference thing. I don't quite care for the low angle. I think I'd prefer on the same level.

I guess #4 is the only thing I wouldn't change anything on. Some of that stuff I mentioned might be nit-picky, but it's just what I could come up with if you were to try changing something in them.

vonnagy · Mar 16, 2004

Hi Toby,

#1: I like the idea, but the back of her head gets lost in the shadow. I like the little bit of light you see around her eye though. I would like to see her head placed in the 'white space'

#2 This is a sweet shot. I don't like the the dark vignetting here. The hair detail gets lost in the background. I love the human element in this shot though! Very sweet, very touching.

#3 I am having a hard time with this one. Alot of good elements are there, but what throws me off is that it doesn't look like his reflection in the the mirror. In fact, its probably not a reflection, but it sort of looks like one the way its placed. Its actually a little creepy. The focus is a bit soft, but the lighting is superb.

#4 I like this one Toby. any reason this one didn't go black & white? I've think you've caught a delicate mood in this shot. Usually shots with the eyes closed aren't my fav, but this one works somehow.....I don't like the colour of the shirt, but its sort of a perfect fit here... its very 'childish' looking but this is a young woman... perhaps she is thinking about more mature thoughts and this shirt helps play part of this conflict.

#5 ok toby, i should warn ya i am not the biggest fan of colourising sections of a black & white photo. The colours put more of an emphasis on the motorcycle. I kinda like his expression, its got a bit of the old tough guy sneeer to it... but because of the colour, i am drawn to the bike, not the motorcyclist

Cool stuff Toby, it looks like Mark gave ya some pointer here too. I am really stoked ya got a paid gig! congrats matie!

markc · Mar 16, 2004

My numbering is a bit off for what's posted here; It's refering to the web page.

I feel a little bit like a jerk from what I posted. I wouldn't have been that brutal except that you said it was for a client. I figured if I played the bad guy up front, the client might seem tame in comparison.

I forgot to say congrats on the paid job! It's really cool to be able to make some cash from something you love doing.

Osmer_Toby · Mar 16, 2004

I feel a little bit like a jerk from what I posted. I wouldn't have been that brutal except that you said it was for a client. I figured if I played the bad guy up front, the client might seem tame in comparison.

oh, no man, please don't feel that way. you gave me exactly the kind of feedback i want/need. the only way i will get better is to hear this kind of critique. and you're absolutely right: the way i figure it, if i can pass off an image as one of quality here, then the only thing i need to worry about with a customer is a layperson's interpretation, which is usually much more forgiving.

wouldn't have it any other way, dude, and i appreciate the time and attention you gave to these. :sun:

markc · Mar 16, 2004

Osmer_Toby said:
wouldn't have it any other way, dude, and i appreciate the time and attention you gave to these. :sun:

Whew! [insert wiping brow smiley]
Thanks man. You are way cool! The Internet makes it so hard to know how things are being taken. At least face-to-face I can see when the other person starts to cower and twitch, and then I'll know that I've finally broken them to my whim... I mean, I'll know that I should back off.

Sharkbait · Mar 16, 2004

I really like the idea of #1 a lot, but I wonder if it would work better as a full sillouette, rather than having the tiny bit of detail that it has.

#2 is a really nice familiy-ish scene. I agree with others that the darkened vignetting is a bit distracting. Also, I like it the way it is, but I'd also like to see all of the girl's face. I know that would be hard to compose and still have the shot show the connection that it does, but that spoon chops her head in half and her hand hides a piece of her face.

#3 is awesome. I might burn off the reflection in the window, as it draws focus and makes me pause to figure it out before concentrating on the story of the photo.

#4 is a really nice portrait. Very well lit. There's one strand of her hair that's at an odd angle though and draws attention. I'd clone that out. I'd also like to see a b&w version of this, just to compare.

#5 is really well done. I love the angle and the expression on the guy's face. Very well captured. I'm not usually a fan of the partial color/partial b&w look, but it works well here.