Boundaries and photos for loved ones

[JoeW]

Multiple answers (b/c the variables to this situation are many).

1. I generally agree with the position of: no work goes out unless you've approved it. That said, this makes the most sense for a professional or one who is hoping to make money off of their work (b/c your work is your best promotional piece--so you want it to draw fans and people who'll pay you). If you are NOT doing this for money, you do NOT plan ever to have this as a business, than I think this rule is less likely to apply.

2. You created some issues by making it a negotiation rather than a "this is my rule." For instance, when the friend who said they could edit in their phone asked you for the photos, it sounded like you said "do you mind if I edit them first" to which she replied to your question by saying "nah, I've got software on my phone--I can do it." And she probably thought she was doing you a favor. If you have a rule that says "I don't give out RAW files" then say that...."sorry, I only give out edits...you'll see these in a week."

3. Interesting about people saying "didn't you take more?" I usually get the opposite response. I'll take an interesting candid and someone (like my wife) will say "they aren't going to want to see that--look at all of the wrinkles in her face. She's not smiling. Delete!" If you've done edits and people say "what about those pictures of me on the swing?" you can I say "I deleted those--I didn't like the result." B/c effectively you have--they didn't make your approved edits list.

4. You need to decide your policy on dealing with family. For instance, I shoot weddings. But I also bring my camera to family weddings where I'm a guest. I tell the pro there "I won't get in your way, just here to shoot a lot, tell me if I'm blocking a shot." I'll shoot a lot and then work to get edits to the bride and groom quickly (b/c I'll beat the photographer they booked and my value will usually be...getting a lot of good photos fast...and then the photographer they hired will provide the great portraits that have been finely edited, and the classic wedding photos later on for the album a month after they get back from the honeymoon. Other family events (like big birthdays and reunions) I edit to my heart's content and people see the photos a month afterwards (which irritates some who want them sooner). But everyone in the family has come to know--if you want to see photos the next day, don't count on me...b/c I'm going to edit them all, send out a lot of them, and I won't make exceptions for anyone...even my favorite niece. And so I no longer get any guff from people about "what about the phone of me when I was on the ...." or "how much longer before we see the pictures?"

What you're a victim of is a combination of a world where everyone has a camera-phone with a cheap set of templates (so expecting instant gratification and looking for snapshots, not pictures) and you not doing a better job managing and setting expectations.