Cats

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Rick Waldroup, Feb 4, 2008.

  1. Rick Waldroup

    Rick Waldroup No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    My grandaughter came to visit and brought her new little kitty. The little beast proceeded to freak the dog out, tear the curtains all to pieces, and bring back memories I had long put away.

    Many years ago, my wife came home with a new kitty. I dubbed him Darth Vadar. He hated me. Whenever the wife was gone, he became the feline from hell.

    One day, when my wife went shopping, I threw his silly ass out the door. I stood there and laughed at him through the window.

    Later that day, after my wife returned and let him back in, I went to get in my new, two-day old truck. The little freak had taken a dump right on the hood of my new truck. He knew exactly what he was doing.

    From that day on, it was WW III between he and I. If ever there was a cat with nine lives, it was him. I know. I tried killing him on many occasions, but to no avail. He would always show back up, laugh at me as he walked in the house and then he would promptly plant his fat butt in my wife's lap. She drooled and cooed over that cat like a baby. All the while, he sat there looking at me defiantly, mocking me.

    There were times I actually thought about strangling him with my bare hands, but I was worried it might freak the children out.

    The day he died of natural causes, I threw a party in my head. Only I, was invited to dance the dance of the victorious. While others around me wept, I sat there with a maniacal grin on my face, much like Anthony Perkins at the end of the movie "Psycho". My wife knew what I was thinking and she never forgave me for the way I treated Mr. Snuggles.

    R.I.P in you little bastard.
     
  2. spiffybeth

    spiffybeth TPF Noob!

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    oh my god!!!!!! :biglaugh:
     
  3. nealjpage

    nealjpage multi format master in a film geek package

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    That reminds me of the story of my friend Hal's dad and the Cat Holocaust. I'm a cat lover and think it's funny, but it freaks most people out.
     
  4. Rick Waldroup

    Rick Waldroup No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    Please, tell us more.
     
  5. lifeafter2am

    lifeafter2am TPF Noob!

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    LOLOLOLOL!!!
     
  6. nealjpage

    nealjpage multi format master in a film geek package

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    Long story short: Hal grew up on a farm. His dad valued animals that are useful. Too many cats were on the farm. One pissed him off. He decimated their population and buried them in a mass grave.
     
  7. The_Traveler

    The_Traveler Completely Counter-dependent Supporting Member

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    By 'natural' do you mean that you dropped an anvil on his head and, naturally, he died?
     
  8. Rick Waldroup

    Rick Waldroup No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    Oh my......:er:
     
  9. Rick Waldroup

    Rick Waldroup No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    Sshhhhh....... now Lew, we are not supposed to talk about that. :wink:
     
  10. Battou

    Battou No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    :lol: I have several cats, but I know all about the cat from hell. I ended up beating her with a scabbard one day. :x

    She lived....several more years....died a senile old cat. I never buried her.
     
  11. The_Traveler

    The_Traveler Completely Counter-dependent Supporting Member

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    As a compulsive fighter for best use of English, may I suggest that you replace the word 'decimated'. The real and more correct meaning is to kill or destroy one tenth of anything (re:decimal) and comes from two Latin words. The word originates from the punishment of Roman Legions for cowardice or bad performance when one man in ten was chosen randomly to be killed.

    :nerd:
     
  12. nealjpage

    nealjpage multi format master in a film geek package

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    Sure! I used to be an English minor in college. My brain has gone soft.

    'Ravaged'?
     

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