Classical Music Chuckles

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Mitica100, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    “Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands-and all you can do is scratch it.”
    (attributed remark to Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist in rehearsal)

    “Now, ladies and contraltos, if you look to your parts, you’ll see where the gentlemen and tenors come in.”
    (Thomas Beecham, rehearsing a choir)

    “The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.”
    (Peter De Vries, The Glory of the Hummingbird, 1974)

    “Some men are like musical glasses-to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet.”
    (Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Table Talk, 1834)

    “The chief objection to playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.
    (George Bernard Shaw)

    [Asked about the secret of piano-playing:] “I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.”
    (Arthur Schnabel)


    “Today you play jazz, tomorrow you will betray your country.”
    (Soviet poster of Stalin era)

    “Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.”
    (James Stephens)


    [James Agate, meeting a friend, member of the BBC orchestra:]”Who conducted this afternoon?” [Alec Whittaker, First Oboist:] “Sorry James, I forgot to look.”
     
  2. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    Hehe...some of those are pretty funny.
     
  3. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    :biglaugh:


    Those are....uh, classic! :thumbup:
     
  4. LaFoto

    LaFoto Just Corinna in real life Staff Member Supporting Member

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    "Well, we shall sing from the organ balcony, anyway", says the choirmaster to his choir. "Oh, goodie," says an alto singer, "so we need not get dressed!"

    (Conversation that happened tonight in our choir practise).
     
  5. photo gal

    photo gal TPF Noob!

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  6. mentos_007

    mentos_007 The Freshmaker!

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    hahahah great ones!
     
  7. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Speaking of that... You know J.S. Bach (famous for his organ works amongst others) had many children. Do you know why?


    Because his organ had no stops.
     
  8. LaFoto

    LaFoto Just Corinna in real life Staff Member Supporting Member

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    :lol: :lmao: :biglaugh:
     
  9. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    Sir Thomas Beecham was well known for his comments.
    Conducting an orchestra at rehearsals, he had been to the toilet and forgotten to do himself up.
    The first violinist hissed 'Sir Thomas! Your thing!! It's sticking out.'
    To which he replied ' don't flatter yourself Madam, it is merely hanging.'

    God Bless the British eccentric.
     
  10. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    ... That is funny!

    I remember a similar witty reply from one of the old Romanian conductors (Emanoil Elenescu) at the time when I was still a member of the Romanian Radio Broadcasting Orchestra. We had a rehearsal and the conductor came with the zipper down, went up on the podium and got ready for the down beat. A smart a** from the back of the orchestra (trumpet player) said out loud "Maestro, we can see the 'dead one' from here!"... At which the conductor replied "Very good then, come pay your respect and give it a last kiss".
     
  11. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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  12. danalec99

    danalec99 TPF Noob!

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    :lol:
     

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