convicted

Discussion in 'The Creative Corner' started by aprilraven, Jan 27, 2006.

  1. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    first, let me give credit to the picture... its one chiller posted a few weeks back... its actually him... "handcuffed" to a chair...after staring at it..this story came to mind..and so i asked him if i could borrow his pic for this story..he agreed, so please keep in mind, its his picture..pictures always give me ideas...and although i am not a writer, i enjoy playing...please excuse the spelling or the wording, and i know it will send rob into exile just looking at the apostrophes and lack there of...i apologise now...i dont really worry about all the rules of english, as long as i get the point across...anyway... just thought i would share... thanks again to chiller! :hugs: for the picture... and the ideas....( you make a great convict...!!)
    http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=39282
    *****************************************************

    she hated this one place... always gave her the willies... she had been to many asylums for the criminally insane... it came with the job..she had been in more than she would care to remember.. but this one... this one was the worst..it was relatively clean, but that was not the point. it reeked. it reeked of crooked doctors, mean, low-paid guards, and nurses that couldnt work anywhere else. and it galled her to have to come here and interview this prisoner...she had a bad feeling about this. she just didnt feel comfortable with this case..she had read all the police reports, even did a background check on this guy and things just didnt add up... something wasnt right...so here she was, having to gage him, herself.. she had to see him for herself.. interveiw him... get his vibes. she specialized in feeling things for the prosecution or defendant, who ever paid her for her time. as she approached the final desk to pass thru before she was face to face with him, she wondered what if they was wrong about this guy.. what if he didnt commit this crime.. ? he had been here for almost a year already, awaiting all the pre trial stuff.how could a sane person live in here, and still stay sane...? could he have been normal once, and now was driven mad by the poor treatment?after showing her credientials for the last time, she heard the buzzer and the automatic wire and metal door swing forward, and she slipped thru, not touching anything.
    the guard on the other side, an overweight middleaged man that probably wanted a different life at another time, looked her up and down, with a gleam in his eye..the look of disgust that she had on her face was enough to stop any conversation.." he is in here, but dont worry, we have him locked up tight to that chair, he cant hurt you... just dont get too close, you dont want him to spit or anything on that pretty new suit ...." said the tired guard, in a smoke filled gravelly voice.he unlocked the once white and now rust covered door, that had one screened window, too high for an average person to see thru very easily..." great, thanks..." she said in a hushed almost nervous voice...she entered the room, and the guard turned back to her, " he doesnt say much, unless you hurt him some..." and gave her a sleazy, greasy smile...and locked the door after her... the prisoner sat in a chair... a cold metalic chair... no cushion.. no comfort... no heat in the room as far as she could tell...his head hung down, his hair, long blonde and ratted, fell over his face.he was big, and by his bio he should be about 6' 2...and it said about 190..but he looked more 160... but it seemed muscle.. hard muscle..he never moved. not an inch. and that was more unnerving than if he would have openly stared in hostility. he was aware she was in the room.. she had no idea how she knew that, but he was very aware of her. and he was stone cold still. she couldnt even tell if he was breathing.she approached slowly, and set her briefcase and folders on a small table at the corner of the room... he was sitting in the only light in the room... the sun beaming thru the dirty broken metal window...bars over the outside...so much grime on the glass, she wasnt sure how the soft winter rays struggled thru the pane.Lea drug the only other chair in the room, over closer to him. the sound of the chair was over loud in the cramped space.. the only other furniture was a cot.. and that was using the term generously. she knew without measuring that there was no way he fit comfortably on the oblong mat that stood just a couple of feet off the floor...no sheets. no pillow. no blanet..and it was freezing in the room, even with her clothes and jacket on.sitting down across from him, she made a note on her pad about his physical condition, the room..the cot.. the lack of light..not even an over head light. his only source of light would have been the sun. would suck on cloudy days..
    as she scribbled she became aware of his head having lifted somewhat, and he was watching her thru his hair, hanging in his face. his eyes were a cold green. almost a chilling green...his gaze remained steady on her for quite some time, as she was locked in some kind of battle of wills...who would turn away first. it was her. she couldnt look into those eyes for any period of time. she felt like she was looking at a caged tiger. intellegence screamed out at her from behind those eyes... they were haunted...full of personal pain and anguish. but a strong sense of pacing filled her mind... he must pace this room constantly. prowling at the first for an out, but now, just pacing to keep mind and body in order.Lea cleared her throat, and said " hi, my name is Lea Harris, and i have been asked to speak to you, and maybe see if you would share information with me that might lead to more answers in your case. would you mind talking to me?"
    he just stared at her. she could finally see he was breathing, cause he had opened his mouth just a bit, and his hair moved in front of his face in time with his breathing.she flipped open the file, " mr younge, i am sorry if this brings up bad memories, but i need to get your exact words on the events of that night...will you please help me?"he never wavered from his stare. she swallowed, and said again "please?"
    she leaned forward, to whisper to him, " if you will help ME, maybe i can help YOU, ... dont you want out of here if its possible?"his eyes dropped to her mouth, as she spoke. Lea noticed, and leaned back upright quickly. a guarded look in her eye...Carl Younge looked at her eyes, and blinked, almost so fast, she thought she might have dreamed it. " talk to me...... please....." she whispered.when he spoke, it was so soft, she was almost convienced he had telepathy and she just heard it in her head...." do you know how long it has been since i have seen a real woman? how long since i heard a soft kind voice? how long its been since someone really looked at me in the face, and talked to me one on one?" her eyes dropped to the toe of her shoe....and she said," yes, i am sure its been a while, but if you start talking trash, i'm leaving. i am here just to see if i can help you." "i'm sorry" he whispers... " dont get me wrong, i didnt mean anything nasty, i was just missing the sound of a human talking to another human.... around here, i am like cattle. not human to them... not treated with any form of respect ... just hit on, kicked at, and spit on as if i dont matter. please forgive my manners, it has been so long since i have been seen as a man...." and his voice dropped off.they continued to talk through out the afternoon. Carl gave her as many details as he could, and she started building her case.Month after month, she would visit him, and more and more he would open up to her, and eventual start smiling. as the months past, they became comfortable with each other, and Lea realized she was falling for this gentle, calm mannered man. He was tender and sweet, and very gentlemanly.The day the jury came back with a verdict of not guilty, not insane, they hugged for the first time. Lea could feel the sparks arch between them like lightening.when they walked out of the court house that mid morning, she turned to him," Carl, do you have anywhere to go, now?"He gazed out to the street, and shyly answered, " no, not really..."Her heart filled with love for him, and she responded, " why dont you come home with me, i have an extra room, and i wont pressure you for anything. You can stay as long as you need, or as long as you want.." and she dropped her eyes, worried about his reaction.
    With gentle fingers, he lifted her chin, so she would look into his eyes...." i am honored. thank you.... i would like to go check out some things, adjust to being free...but if you dont mind, maybe this evening, i can come by and have dinner with you ...and stay if you still want me to....."
    her breath caught in her throat, and his hand eased behind her neck, pulled her close to him, and lightly, so softly kissed her...
     
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  2. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    that evening, Lea had supper started, and kept going out to the front porch, looking to see if Carl would show. finally, as she sat on the steps..she saw him walking toward her... her heart leaped in her throat, she was more like a little highschool girl, than a woman full grown.

    He walked up to her, and pulled her to him, fiercely kissing her like he had not seen her in ages...it was like he hungered for her. Heart pounding wildly, she slid back down to earth, and said, " welcome, good to see you.... have a seat, supper is almost ready.." she headed in side, and he made himself comfortable on the top step...long legs stretched out in front of him....

    Lea came back out, beer in hand, and leaned down to wrap her arms around him from behind, pressing the drink in his hand...." ready to eat?" she whispered in his ear..

    Carl let his head tilt back against her soft breasts, closed his eyes, and said,
    " this feels so good.... "

    She held him for a moment, then said, "come on baby... lets eat...."

    He said, " i'll be right in...."..and she went on in the house...

    As he drained the beer, he glanced at the bottle....and suddenly wacked it against the pillar of the porch.. holding the broken neck of the bottle in his hand, he headed in the house, his heart pounding at the expected blood bath he had unfolding before him...
    this was gonna be fun, he thought.

    *********************************************



    i had too long of a story to put in a thread allowing only 10,000 words..

    so... had to finish it this way...sorry...
     
  3. anicole

    anicole TPF Noob!

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    You are too, a writer. Awesome job, my bestest friend. Awesome!

    (though I remember a different ending ... :confused: )

    Keep on writing, chick ... keep on ...!


    edit: never mind ... about the ending ... we were posting at the same time ...

    I LOVE THAT ENDING!!!
     
  4. Antarctican

    Antarctican TPF Noob!

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    Mesmerizing! You've certainly got a knack for storytelling. Didn't see that ending coming, though.
     
  5. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    thanks antartican...your so sweet... i appreciate your reading and giving me feed back...but its all because of the pic..its not my talent, its chillers ability to make a picture "say" something to me... "every picture tells a story, dont it??"

    thanks pallie...your thoughts on anything is like water to a dying man..
    ( not saying if the man is on the titanic....!!) luv ya girlfriend! mean it.
     
  6. Antarctican

    Antarctican TPF Noob!

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    You are too modest by far Aprilraven. Your posts are always so entertaining/funny, they often make me laugh out loud (to the consternation of people passing by my office, who now think I'm losing it). And your Convict story was enthralling...I couldn't stop reading it. Chiller's picture wasn't part of your posting (although I had seen it when he posted it) - but your wording was so descriptive that you painted for the reader a clear mental picture. You really have tons of writing talent. Look forward to reading more.:thumbsup:
     
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  7. JonMikal

    JonMikal TPF Noob!

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    what a talent you are Nance! i enjoyed it very much and was caught offguard by its ending. :thumbup:

    you never cease to amaze!
     
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  8. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    dang..jonmikal...i am tickled you liked it... it wasnt much, just a thought..

    so the ending thru you off??? you know me...no happily ever after exsists...no matter how much you want it to....!!

    thank you my friend.... you humble me..
     
  9. Chiller

    Chiller Mental case

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    Wow... Im just blown away Nance. I really dont know what to say. I never thought a photo of mine would inspire a story like this. I have to agree , that the story alone stands out on its own. The ending is amazing. It got me. You have an amazing ability to create a vision in a persons head with out a picture. As I read this, I was able to play the scene in my head, which I dont find with most novels
    thanks Nance, for the honour. Truly an amazing story.
     
  10. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    your the man, chiller... its your shot... i just put words to your ability...

    thank you again for letting me use you!!
     
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  11. errant_star

    errant_star TPF Noob!

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    That was quite the story ... you definately have a talent!

    Well done!

    :thumbsup:
     
  12. duncanp

    duncanp TPF Noob!

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    :thumbup: nice ^ i agree with alll of them
     

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