A husband walks into Frederick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. He opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself. So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!" He never heard the shot. _________________________________________________________________ A elderly gentleman is due for his annual physical. Not having very good hearing, he asks his wife to accompany him to the doctors office, so that she might help him better understand the doctors questions. Sitting across the desk writing in the elderly gentlemans file, the doctors looks up and says to the man To get started we will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample and waits for a reply. The elderly gentleman smiles at the doctor, turns to his wife and says What did he say? The ever helpful wife moves in close to her husbands ear and answers loudly The doctor said that he wants you to leave your underwear here.