Cynic's Guide To Life

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Mitica100, Dec 21, 2005.

  1. Mitica100

    Mitica100 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Cynic's Guide to Life:

    [SIZE=-1]The journey of a thousand miles begins with a squeaking fan belt and a leaky tire.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Follow your dream. Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]If a motorists cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothings gets the message across like a good mooning.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bon bon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the 'thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge' group.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Just remember... You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Love is like a roller coaster. If you like it, you don't want to get off, and when you don't... you can't wait to throw up. [/SIZE]
     
  2. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    If at first you don't succeed, give up - and spend the rest of the day wondering why you bothered to try in the first place.
     
  3. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    omg.... these are just wonderful.... i know cynics... live with a couple.. and related to the rest.....its so them!!!!!

    if you love something, let it go... from a far enough distance, nothing can hurt you.
     
  4. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    And of course the all time classic:
    Hell is other people.
     
  5. PetersCreek

    PetersCreek TPF Noob!

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    A word to the wise...is unecessary. It's the really stupid people who need all the help they can get.

    Good health: the slowest way there is to die. If I'm gonna go anyway, I wanna choke on something that tastes good.
     
  6. ferny

    ferny TPF Noob!

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    If you set your sights low enough, no-one will notice when you fail.
     
  7. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    'I never lost money by under-estimating the intelligence of my audience' - Sam Goldwynn
     
  8. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    :headbang: rock on my friends...ya'll are killing me...!!
     
  9. mentos_007

    mentos_007 The Freshmaker!

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    :):):)
     
  10. photogoddess

    photogoddess TPF Noob!

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    Never have an arguement with an idiot. They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. :lol:
     
  11. clarinetJWD

    clarinetJWD The Naked Spammer Staff Member

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    I love that one.
    It's true... :biggrin:
     

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