Dear Santa letter from Mom

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Corry, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Messages:
    21,169
    Likes Received:
    109
    Location:
    North Central Illinois
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos NOT OK to edit
    Dear Santa,

    I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than the doctor, and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

    Here are my Christmas wishes:

    I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone. On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

    Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

    Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

    Yours Always, MOM

    P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to always believe in Santa Claus.
     
  2. EBphotography

    EBphotography TPF Junkie!

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    1,834
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Maine, USA
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos OK to edit
    :confused: Why hasn't anyone posted in this thread? Thats good stuff! :mrgreen:
     
  3. treehuggerhikerboy

    treehuggerhikerboy TPF Noob!

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2004
    Messages:
    525
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    denver
    i don't get it.
     
  4. oldnavy170

    oldnavy170 TPF Noob!

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Messages:
    2,236
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rochester, New York
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos OK to edit
    I am gonna guess your not a mom then! :)
     
  5. (Ghastly) Krueger

    (Ghastly) Krueger TPF Noob!

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    1,393
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lost between tomorrow and yesterday
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos OK to edit
    Or a dad, for that matter!
     
  6. skyonfire

    skyonfire TPF Noob!

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    522
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Kentucky
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos OK to edit
    lol... sounds like my christmas wishes
     
  7. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    9,469
    Likes Received:
    96
    Location:
    TX
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos OK to edit
    :mrgreen:
     
  8. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Messages:
    21,169
    Likes Received:
    109
    Location:
    North Central Illinois
    Can others edit my Photos:
    Photos NOT OK to edit
    Neither am I. ;)
     
  9. heavens4ngel

    heavens4ngel TPF Noob!

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2006
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    0
    I love it. That's great! I'm a mom to 6 and that sounds like my christmas list.
     

Share This Page