Devil's Dictionary

Alpha

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I thought it would be fun to start a devil's dictionary with photography terms. I'll kick it off with a few definitions:

Strobist- One who thinks he/she can conquer the ****ing universe with e/i-TTL and defies anyone to disagree.

Second Shooter- A wedding photographer’s *****.

Professional- One who calls him/herself a professional.

GWC- a) Guy With Camera
b) One who poses as a photographer in order to photograph nude or semi-nude women and then masturbates to his own portfolio.

MWC- a) Mom With Camera
b) Someone who excitedly explains how cute the photo of her child playing with a dog turd in the back yard is.
c) Someone who only takes photos of their children.

D40- Camera named after 40 things it’s terrible at shooting.
 
APS-C- Almost Professional Sensor in my Camera
 
Crop Factor- Nietzschean reversal of the phrase "Crap Factor." Ex. "This photo will be 1.6x as crappy as a full-frame shot."
 
MF- Commonly used acronym for Medium Format, originally used as an abbreviation for Mother ****er!, the most common exclamation when one ruins a frame on a 12-15 shot roll of film.
 
Photog- Childs version of photographer. Primarily used by a generation that feels spelling out the whole word or phrase is too time consuming.

Picture- The word people use when they have not figured out that they are taking a photograph.

)'(
 
Photog- Childs version of photographer. Primarily used by a generation that feels spelling out the whole word or phrase is too time consuming.

Picture- The word people use when they have not figured out that they are taking a photograph.

)'(


It seems even photog is far too much to type for some as I've seen "tog" used .
 
These are hilarious, did you think of all these yourself, Alpha?

How about:

Snapshot (snapshotty) - 'polite' term used to let someone know their photo's quality looks to be that of a novice rather than saying what they really think it looks like - dogs**t
 
megapixies - common in most digital cameras; responsible for collecting information to represent a photograph.
 
I am always amused by people that put a whole host of titles after thier name to make themselves look more important... i mean 'BA Hons' etc is acceptable becuase it takes years of work and a non bias institution to give you that title... but there are MANY groups, committees and organizations that you simply pay an anual fee to be part of, which frankly anyone can do...

My favourite pi$$ take of this kind of thing is taken from an episode of Red Dwarf (and iv used this before on a snobby site) where Rimmers name is followed by a series of acronyms.....

Arnold Rimmer Bsc, Ssc. *




* Bronze swimming certificate
Silver swimming Certificate


:greenpbl:
 
Strobist- One who thinks he/she can conquer the ****ing universe with e/i-TTL and defies anyone to disagree.

You have to come up with something better than that. Strobist in the new internet cult term deals with off camera flashes, mainly speed lights and mainly in manual mode. They're strill going to conquer the ****ing universe.
 
I laughed. The D40 as its flaws, but all in all it's a pretty good camera IMHO.
 
Professional- Anyone who needs another tripod/monopole to hold their lens up.
 

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