Does your family support this??

[snowbear]

OK, so let's make this real interesting:
1. Get her to sign up.
2. Challenge her to a duel -- TPF camera shootout.
3. Both of y'all post the results here and let the horde decide.

 

[Designer]

I was just curious if this was a concept that is common.

I doubt if she will go for it, but if you can sit down and talk calmly about money, have each of you agree to a strict budget. That way, as long as you both are adhering to your budget, there should be no friction about spending money.

 

[rexbobcat]

Well I get a call from my mom every week asking "So...what about law school?" But there isn't any outright hostility. More like she just kind of avoids the question when people ask what I do. lol

Aside from that, my partner supports me. I just have lots of self-doubt, so they do get a bit annoyed. But other than that, they just want to make sure that I'm happy and bringing in enough money for us to live.

 

[jovince3000]

I'm single. I'm pretty confident in the fact that photography has nothing to do with it.

But if I can be blunt, being single sound better than the relationship you're in. Sorry bro.

 

[bribrius]

I'm single. I'm pretty confident in the fact that photography has nothing to do with it.

But if I can be blunt, being single sound better than the relationship you're in. Sorry bro.

It is all about boundaries. I learned this in marriage counseling. Like if she degrades him on facebook again he should go piss on her laptop. Sends a strong simple message, and most importantly from a relationship standpoint establishes a firm set boundary. He just hasn't set the proper boundaries.

 

[jovince3000]

It is all about boundaries. I learned this in marriage counseling. Like if she degrades him on facebook again he should go piss on her laptop. Sends a strong simple message, and most importantly from a relationship standpoint establishes a firm set boundary. He just hasn't set the proper boundaries.

I'm personally a strong believer in the "hatred will only lead to more hatred". Strong responses will only lead to stronger responses until everything break. If you've reached that point, You're better off going your separate way before both of you lose everything you cherish.

Now that's just my personal opinion, but I've seen that kind of thing happen.

The "make your point" strategy will work once or twice, IF you take the time to sit down and clearly explain WHY you did this and both of you come to an agreement and understanding. But realistically speaking, if someone pissed on my laptop, you can be sure your hotdog would finish in literal "*your* hot-dog" no matter if the previous act was justified or not.

Also, remind me to never piss you off

 

[bribrius]

It is all about boundaries. I learned this in marriage counseling. Like if she degrades him on facebook again he should go piss on her laptop. Sends a strong simple message, and most importantly from a relationship standpoint establishes a firm set boundary. He just hasn't set the proper boundaries.

I'm personally a strong believer in the "hatred will only lead to more hatred". Strong responses will only lead to stronger responses until everything break. If you've reached that point, You're better off going your separate way before both of you lose everything you cherish.

Now that's just my personal opinion, but I've seen that kind of thing happen.

The "make your point" strategy will work once or twice, IF you take the time to sit down and clearly explain WHY you did this and both of you come to an agreement and understanding. But realistically speaking, if someone pissed on my laptop, you can be sure your hotdog would finish in literal "*your* hot-dog" no matter if the previous act was justified or not.

Also, remind me to never piss you off

Not at all. I grew up with sisters. I caught on to a few things long ago. But for those just catching up let me recommend the following.

No More Mr Nice Guy Robert A. Glover 9780762415335 Amazon.com Books

barnes and noble No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover 9780762415335 Hardcover Barnes Noble



Edit: i also married one of the difficult ones, should have been a red head. (God love her. lol) Over the years caught on to about every button i had she tried to push. LMAO. If it was there she would throw it on the table to see my reaction and just get more upset when she didn't get one. Like really, if there was something for leverage she would be reaching for it. Even the big "D" word. In which i just started the paperwork. Then she flipped out in utter horror that i just go ahead and started it. so i just answered "oh, okay, i guess you don't want one then?" still married. She wouldn't dare say negative things about me on facebook, she learned i would just probably walk over and piss on her laptop. It works, really. Especially necessary if you get one of the strong willed controlling ones. If they don't see a repercussion they just keep going, and going, and getting worse, and worse, looking for that boundary.

 

[bribrius]

Just a thought. Anything I produce or create as it relates to my photographic skills, is met with open and unrestrained hostility from my wife. I don't even show her my work anymore. In fact I have even restricted her on my facebook page because of her demoralizing comments.
I have learned over the years that ANYTHING I buy for my obsession, HAS to come from money I have generated from sales. I would NEVER ask her to buy me anything photography related for birthday or Christmas. And yet the woman is an artist and musician herself. Oils... acrylic.. water color...and plays the piano. Go figure!

Do your significant others support your profession, obsession, hobby... oram I just an oddball??

Ian

Read above^^^^^^^^^^^

no boundaries. she has no respect for you. Go get it.. She would be happier herself, do it for her too. You may get some push back, kicking and screaming (least on the inside). Ignore it. Be better off in the end i assure you. Both of you. Read the book too. If anyone sounds like they need it, might be you. She does to you ONLY what you allow. And makes you feel a certain way ONLY because you allow it. Follow????????????? Don't allow it. Set firm boundaries. She will learn them

You really want to upset her just go buy some camera stuff with her money. And just sit back and see what happens, always keep calm. Very calm. . If she asks you why just say "because i decided too". Might as well start it off with a little shock impact.

 

[snerd]

I would not be taking any relationship advice on an internet forum. Just sayin'.

And I prefer this version of No More Mr. Nice Guy...............






........................

 

[waday]

You'll do anything for love, except giving up photography?

 

[jake337]

I'm such a cheap ass that without my wife I wouldn't have bought any photography gear at all.

She always gives me the "just do it" nudge every time. Followed by "you work hard to support this family, you deserve it".

 

[vintagesnaps]

This is getting OT but since you brought it up Brian, this isn't the first time you've talked about reacting in a physical way that seemed to be directed to something that belonged to one of your family members. Knowing you have kids I hope you'll think about how you're handling conflicts, this doesn't sound like the best way to work out a problem.

 

[minicoop1985]

OK, so let's make this real interesting:
1. Get her to sign up.
2. Challenge her to a duel -- TPF camera shootout.
3. Both of y'all post the results here and let the horde decide.

Ugh, my wife always tries to make it a contest. I'm WAY better than her at product photography. She's WAY better than me at macro photography.

 

[pgriz]

OK, so let's make this real interesting:
1. Get her to sign up.
2. Challenge her to a duel -- TPF camera shootout.
3. Both of y'all post the results here and let the horde decide.

Ugh, my wife always tries to make it a contest. I'm WAY better than her at product photography. She's WAY better than me at macro photography.

Well then work it to build the relationship - when she "wins" at whatever she's good at, shower her with praise and compliments. That costs you nothing, and yet it will probably mean a lot to her to have her skill acknowledged and validated. Who knows, maybe she'll feel inspired to reciprocate.

 

[minicoop1985]

OK, so let's make this real interesting:
1. Get her to sign up.
2. Challenge her to a duel -- TPF camera shootout.
3. Both of y'all post the results here and let the horde decide.

Ugh, my wife always tries to make it a contest. I'm WAY better than her at product photography. She's WAY better than me at macro photography.

Well then work it to build the relationship - when she "wins" at whatever she's good at, shower her with praise and compliments. That costs you nothing, and yet it will probably mean a lot to her to have her skill acknowledged and validated. Who knows, maybe she'll feel inspired to reciprocate.

This is exactly what I do. But still, it's GOTTA be a contest with her... grrr women.