don't have a cow maaaaaaaaaaan

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by captain-spanky, Apr 7, 2004.

  1. captain-spanky

    captain-spanky TPF Noob!

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    Location:
    in a bubble in Yorkshire, UK
    [​IMG]
    Capitalism and corporations....

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your
    herd multiplies, and
    the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
    income.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows.You sell three of them to your
    publicly listed company,
    using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law
    at the bank, then
    execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general
    offer so that you get
    all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five
    cows. The milk rights of
    the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
    Cayman Island company
    secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
    the rights to all
    seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
    report says the company
    owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one
    cow to buy a new
    president of the United States, leaving you with nine
    cows. No balance
    sheet
    provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
    to produce the milk
    of
    four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. u go on strike because you want
    three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
    ordinary cow and
    produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
    clever cow cartoon images
    called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
    for 100 years, eat
    once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
    five cows. You count
    them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
    again and learn you
    have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
    bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION:
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
    charge others for
    storing them.

    A HINDU CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You worship them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim full
    employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
    newsman who reported
    the numbers.

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

    :wink: :wink: :wink: :lol:
    sorry.
     
  2. mrsid99

    mrsid99 TPF Supporters Supporting Member

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    Thanks for a great laugh!
    The only problem is that it's so accurate!
     
  3. luckydog

    luckydog TPF Noob!

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    It's not accurate at all!!!

    I know the cow on the left and she's stuck up. The one on the right on the udder hand......

    Also you forgot the New Zealand Corporation.
    Vonnagy has 2 cows. Swaps them for two sheep, a pair of wellingtons and some velcro gloves.
     
  4. aggiezach

    aggiezach Yup...

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     

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