Euro-English

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Darfion, Nov 4, 2003.

  1. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    The European Commission has just announced an agreement where by
    English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
    which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
    Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
    improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
    as "EuroEnglish".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
    make the sivil servants jump with joy.
    The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear
    up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
    troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
    like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
    to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
    Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,which have
    always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
    horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and
    they
    should go away.

    By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
    with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
    containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
    kombinations of leters.
    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
    no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
    understandech
    ozer.

    ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
     
  2. Chase

    Chase I am now benign! Staff Member Supporting Member

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    very entertaining!
     
  3. mrsid99

    mrsid99 TPF Supporters Supporting Member

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    Check out our high school graduates....they already use this spelling!
     
  4. Dew

    Dew TPF Noob!

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    hehehehe, my hubby got me listening to a German radio station right now :lol: ... i understand a little .. so i can eavesdrop on his telephone conversations :D
     
  5. manda

    manda instigator of pottymouthedness

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    i wont have to correct half as much now!
    woooooooooooo
     
  6. drlynn

    drlynn TPF Noob!

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    Where do we sign up? That's a GREAT idea! :roll:
     

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