First ever critique! Go hard on me!

Discussion in 'Critique Forum Archives' started by AussieFreelancer, Aug 15, 2006.

  1. AussieFreelancer

    AussieFreelancer TPF Noob!

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    Hi All,

    I have just recently started photography. I always wanted to take good pics, and about 2 months ago, I bought a Kodak Z650. I love it. So, I did an online digital photography course, and now I am ready to show the world!

    Haha, well, maybe not... Ok, first picture. Go hard on me. I want to hear it as bad as it comes. I want to get better, to a point where I can make some money out of photography. And I am hoping that you can help me get there. :)

    [​IMG]

    Settings:
    Kodak Z650
    f 3.7
    1/320
    f = 380mm (35mm)
    ISO 160
    Sepia

    Thought behind it:
    haha, not too much. I like the way the train curled round, and the fact that it was an older style train - Indian Pacific. The guy walking towards me was a bonus, and looking at the train as he was doing was even more of a bonus. I tried to get the guy on the 'thirds'. I like the way it has turned out. It has a 'dreamy' feel to it, like there is all sorts of things going on in the guy's head.

    Personal Critique:
    I should have used a tri-pod :( i had one with me, but it is still an after thought... need to get in the habbit of always using it where possible. Also, I think it is a bit too light. The fact that the guy is in the top corner, I feel gives a length to it, and as it is to do with travel, a distance to the pic as well, so i think that is good.

    But thats about all i have to say about it! I would love to hear any comments, suggestions, questions, etc. I don't mind how hard you are, that is how I learn, so please do bring it on!

    Thanks!

    Patrick
     
  2. KevinR

    KevinR TPF Noob!

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    For me, there is to much of the walkway at the bottom. Maybe tightening that up a bit. Although sepia isn't bad, I think it is lacking in contrast. The idea behind the image is good. Just some tweaking would give you a better end product.
     
  3. mentos_007

    mentos_007 The Freshmaker!

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    I would crop the photo just below the train and just above the train, so that way the photo would be horizontal (can I edit and shot it to you? )
    what is more a photo seems to be a bit tilted on right... I mean... it looks too heavy on right ... that's my personal critique :)
     
  4. AussieFreelancer

    AussieFreelancer TPF Noob!

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    by all means, edit away. :) looking forward to seeing what it could have been like :D I did shoot a horizontal one which I liked more, but as i didn't use a tri-pod (i know i know...) it was too blurry.
     
  5. KevinR

    KevinR TPF Noob!

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    What about something like this?

    [​IMG]
     
  6. AussieFreelancer

    AussieFreelancer TPF Noob!

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    I think I like the sepia better than the black and white, but that is my untrained personal preference. I do agree though that the cropping makes a big difference.

    the contrast is certainly greater in your pic. Is that just because it is black and white, or did you adjust that in PS?
     
  7. KevinR

    KevinR TPF Noob!

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    I adjusted contrast and sharpened a bit.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. AussieFreelancer

    AussieFreelancer TPF Noob!

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    good plan wit the sharpening. looking at the difference between yours and mine, i see now that this one was 'fuzzier' than i first thought! haha, i think lesson learned with the old tri-pod. :)
     
  9. KevinR

    KevinR TPF Noob!

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    I posted another with the sepia look. Atleast it gives you some ideas.
     
  10. AussieFreelancer

    AussieFreelancer TPF Noob!

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    yeah definitely, thanks for the input. :)
     
  11. Unimaxium

    Unimaxium TPF Noob!

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    I like your thought process for this. You used a good framing technique, but I don't think it quite works for this particular image. As you've already heard, the extra space at the bottom feels a tad excessive. I think Kevin's crop works better because the leading line that brings the eye into the photograph is now the train, which is part of the subject. In the original crop, the eye tends to enter the photograph at the bottom and follow it towards the man, but since the bottom is being used as negative space it doesn't really add much. At least that's my attempt at a logical explanation of it; I could be totally wrong. But either way, I like the horizontal crop more.

    Also, I'm not a big fan of strong sepia tones, so I prefer the B&W version. The sepia just looks kind of fake to me. Generally I prefer a subtler brownish duotone. That way it doesn't look too bland by being in B&W, but it doesn't look too artificial either. I'll take it into photoshop in a minute to show what I mean.

    I think you've definitely got good ideas down, now you could just use some experience to tweak your style. At least, that's what I sense from this image. I can't really judge for sure of course as I haven't seen any other work by you. But keep working at it, and I'm sure you'll get good ;-)

    Edit: here's what I'd do with it. I used a custom duotone in Photoshop to give it the brownish tint (you can read here for more info), and then fiddled the curves until I liked it. My edits made the man a little too dark, so I also used the dodge tool to lighten him back up a bit.
    [​IMG]
     
  12. rmh159

    rmh159 TPF Noob!

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    Aside from the other comments the one thing that I REALLY like about the pic is that all of the lines lead towards the lone man which is presumably the subject of the shot.

    It could be tweaked a bit here and there to make the pic a bit better but I think some of the compositional elements hit the target. Like it was said earlier... look at the pic, notice what makes the pic look good and bad and then remember those points for future shots.
     

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