Gorilla Removal Service

[mygrain]

OKay stop me if you have heard this one before...

There was this lady who had a gorilla stuck up a tree in her front yard so she immediately ran inside and called the Gorilla Removal Service. A few mintues later a van pulled up and a man hoped out.

"You called the Gorilla Removal Service, mam'?" he asked.

"Yes, yes I did. See that's him up there" she pointed.

"Okay but this is a two person job and my partner is out on medical leave. He had a bit of an accident. so I'm gonna need you to help" He said.

Hesitantly she said "okay what do I NEED to do?"

He began digging in his van and pulled out a ladder, a long piece of 2X4 lumber, a pair of handcuffs, a pitbull dog, and a shot gun.

As he was finishing setting things up, he handed her the shotgun and said "okay this is how it works...I'm gonna climb up the tree and hit the gorilla with the 2x4, now Butch the dog is trained to bite the nuts of anything that falls from the tree, so when the gorilla falls Butch will attack and when the gorilla reaches for down for his crotch.. handcuff em!!" she looked at him for a sec and then down at the shotgun and asked "so what is the shotgun for?"

he replied "incase I miss and the gorilla knocks me out of the tree".



TA-DA!!!! boy was that funny. :mrgreen:

 

[MDowdey]

:hail: :hail: :mrgreen:

 

[mygrain]

LOl I had a really drunk friend come up to my cousin and I and "breathe" that one on us while hanging at pub over the holidays . We laughed all night. My girlfriend says she doesn't think it's that funny...maybe it's a guy thing(s)?

 

[mentos_007]

lol hahaha great!

 

[mygrain]

...maybe it's a guy thing(s)?

LOL or maybe not.^^

 

[Niki]

Humm...hehe.

 

[mad_malteaser]

:lmao: :lmao: Hehehehehehehe. That's the funniest joke I've heard all week!!

 

[mygrain]

:lmao: :lmao: Hehehehehehehe. That's the funniest joke I've heard all week!!

Hey mad I like yer signature. I go by madpainterman in some circles.

 

[mad_malteaser]

For some reason, I feel like I should ask why!

 

[mygrain]

No you shouldn't feel that way and it is rude of me to put you on the spot like that...:mrgreen: but if you want to read on be my guest.

Well first off I'm an artist. Secondly Im just completely mad about the word mad
Nah it was a nickname my painting professor gave me in college. Alot of my paintings in school had the tendency to scare a lot of people. They were and sometimes still are very dark and morbid. He kept comparing me to Frances Bacon's style of painting. It was something I could connect to a lot easier than trying to portray some blah that everyone else was painting at the time. Plus I liked the reaction I got. The name stuck so I use it to sell art and as email jargin.

Thanks for askin though!

 

[mad_malteaser]

You didn't put me on the spot! Honest.

I've got the same affiliation with the word "mad". I guess I kind of like to make people think that I'm off the wall/insane. Do you show your art on here? I'd love to see some.

 

[mygrain]

here are a few things I've posted in the creative corner...

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8649

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8651

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11681

http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11760

A lot of them are cats. Why, you might ask...they sell like crazy. LOL Im also known as "the cat guy" by the gaggle of older ladies who collect my cats.

 

[mad_malteaser]

Wow! Those are fantastic!

I love the one titled "Behind It All". I love work that's dark like that.

 

[mygrain]

Sweet! Thanks!! Yeah there is not too much demand for dark paintings or works of such in the deep south(Mississippi-bible belt buckle more like it...laugh with me and not at me please) so the cats get my work out there. Thanks again for taking the time to look!!!