Happy Christmas!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Sharkbait, Dec 19, 2003.

  1. Sharkbait

    Sharkbait TPF Noob!

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    I woke up this morning, saw the beautiful snow, and got in the holiday mood. :) Thought I'd relay this story...

    Our parish priest while I was growing up told this story every Midnight Mass. He was still in seminary, and was doing a final study in London. The priest he was working with decided to give Fr. Jeff a reward for being such an excellent student: he allowed Fr. Jeff to say the homily (sermon) at the main Christmas Day Mass. This was at a large London Cathedral, so it was a very big deal. Fr. Jeff spent hours and hours working on his sermon, getting the wording and messages just right. Finally the big day came Fr. Jeff stepped forward to deliver his homily. It went beautifully, and he kept the congregation rapt with attention (and awake too!). Finally, he came to his closing: "And on this beautiful Christmas morning, I'd like to thank everyone today for coming and showing such support while I gave my first homily at a Sunday Mass. Thank you and have a very Merry Christmas!"

    Dead silence greeted this last remark. Fr. Jeff was confused, he knew his homily was good, but had it really left them so totally speechless? Then he started to see some frowns. Then some angry glances and whispers, amidst shocked looks. He began to get nervous, and felt a tugging on his robes. He looked around and saw his mentor priest with a furious expression on his face. Fr. Jeff leaned over, confused. The head priest hissed (picture this in your best, most cultured British accent), "Bloody fool! In England 'merry' means drunken! You just wished them all a very drunken Christmas!!"

    So on that note, I'd like to wish everyone a very...

    HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!

    (or maybe it will be a Merry Christmas! hahaha! :wink: )
     
  2. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Just goes to show ya, ALWAYS practice your speech (or homilies) in front of an audience first! :goodvibe:

    One of our posters moved from the states to New Zealand and he has some really funny stories about how he tripped on what he thought were *common phrases* when he first moved there. You just never know!! :wink:
     
  3. bogleric

    bogleric TPF Noob!

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    I had a college professor once who was from England and came to the United States when he went to college. Once he was in a bar and was talking with a beautiful young lady and as the evening ended asked if he could knock her up. He got smacked good....

    He claimed he was referring to visiting and knockin on the door or calling her. He had no idea what that means in the United States.
     
  4. stick35

    stick35 TPF Noob!

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    In the early 80's I was working in Cambridge Massachusetts and we had a guy from the England office working with us for a few weeks. We all almost died laughing when he asked our young secretary if she had any rubbers. Apparently that's what they call elastics in England. I've never seen anyones face as red as hers was when he asked and his was when we told him what a rubber is in the USA.

    :D Hey Cheryl - do you have any rubbers?
    :shock: EXCUSE ME?
    :roll: What? What did I say?
    :oops: Well, I never...
    :oops: I think I've made a mistake
    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
  5. mrsid99

    mrsid99 TPF Supporters Supporting Member

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    Hi Shark!
    Neat and amusing story but not completely accurate.
    You're correct in that in the UK one meaning of "merry" is "partially intoxicated" but it also means happy and jolly, (undoubtedly derived from a merry state as the result of partial intoxication) the same as in the USA.
    Check out the Christmas cards in the UK, a typical greeting is a "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" There's no "have a drunken Christmas" connotation.
    Also, the Brits only refer to erasers as "rubbers", elastic is just that, the stuff that holds up your pants (in the UK pants are under garments such as shorts or boxers, pants are normally called "trousers").
    Another one that has caused much merriment is a "jumper", in the UK that's a sweater, in the USA it's a type of dress.
    Imagine the reaction when a guy say's he's going to put on his "jumper", I promise you it has resulted in much anticipation followed by severe disappointment.
    Incidentally, if a Brit offers to "knock you up" it specifically means a morning wake up call, not a call at any other time.
    I believe it came about at the time of the industrial revolution, factory workers employed people to knock on their door to wake them up in the morning since alarm clocks were only affordable to the wealthy.
     
  6. Jewel

    Jewel TPF Noob!

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    Reminds me of a time on another forum. The discussion had turned to nasty creepy-crawlies, and, since there were a few of us Aussies on the forum, the vast numbers of particularly nasty creepy-crawlies in Australia. The subject of redback spiders came up. I commented that the rubber thong is the natural enemy of the redback spider, and I was quite confused when all these British and US listers sounded so confused. So I did a little artwork and emailed it off to them - a spider, a rubber thong, direction of impact, end result. The universal response was "Oh, flipflops!"
    :oops:
    Seems the good ol' Aussie thong is known as a flipflop - they'd all been wondering how you'd use a (what we Aussies would call ) G-string (rubber even!!) to kill a spider. Visions of kinky G-wielding Aussies doing the slingshot thing to the local fauna with their "special" underwear... :lmao:

    Cheers all, and have a drunken - oops, I mean merry - Christmas!

    Jewel
     
  7. stick35

    stick35 TPF Noob!

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    Thanks for the correction mrsid99. Over the years I forgot that it was an eraser that he was asking for. Twenty years later, I still laugh when I think about it.
     
  8. Thorniest Whisper

    Thorniest Whisper TPF Noob!

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    I had the great opportunity as a teenage to live in Australia. My dad was stationed on a Naval Base in a remote area. At the time I lived there, Exmouth was just a spot on the map. I understand it has developed quite a bit since then.

    I have posted on another topic my experience with the words rubber and fag. Later, I was reminded of "piss," "lollie," "loo," "bonnet," etc. An advertisement jingle that we knew state side as "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and chevrolet," was sung "meat pies, football, kangaroos and holden cars" or something like that.

    I loved Australia. I have also lived many years in Hawaii. A "rubber thong" is a "slipper" there.
     
  9. pilgrim

    pilgrim TPF Noob!

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    I would kill to have a white christmas :cry:
    And the ironic thing is, I live in Canada where everyone assumes we live in igloos, but yet I havnt had a white christmas in who knows how long. :?
     

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