Homer Simpson quotes

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Darfion, Sep 28, 2004.

  1. Darfion

    Darfion Soapbox guru...

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    Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one!
    It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won!
    Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
    Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
    Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
    In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
    You don't win friends with salad.
    You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
    Trying is the first step towards failure.
    They have the Internet on computers now?
    Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.
    Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
    Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
    Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
    Do I know what rhetorical means?
     
  2. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    Homer is the best! I'll show these to my bf...we're both Simpsons fanatics!
     
  3. Big Mike

    Big Mike I am Big, I am Mike Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Alcohol, the root of and solution to, all of life's problems.
     
  4. hobbes28

    hobbes28 Incredible Supporting Member

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    Marge... I'm not going to lie to you.... *keeps on doing what he was doing*
     
  5. MDowdey

    MDowdey Guest

    homer : "no beer or donuts makes homer something something..."

    marge : "go crazy?"

    homer : "DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!! WOOOO HOOOO(spins on floor using his head)


    md
     
  6. Lula

    Lula Cracks-Up At Crazy Titles!

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    i'm not telling you



    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  7. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.

    [Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

    When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.


    I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

    Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
     
  8. Walt

    Walt TPF Noob!

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    As strange as that may sound, I was at our dispatch center once (ambulance) and a caller actually asked one of the dispatchers that question! :shock:
     
  9. steve817

    steve817 TPF Noob!

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    My favorite was when Bart switched out the music at church. When they were supposed to play a hymn they started playing In A Godda Davida by Iron Butterfly. Homer lovingly looks at Marge and says

    "Marge...Remember when we used to make out to this hymn?
     
  10. Geronimo

    Geronimo TPF Noob!

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  11. luckydog

    luckydog TPF Noob!

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    How about the old monorail episode quote.

    Mmmm doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do!
     
  12. jadin

    jadin The Mad Hatter

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    Homer: Use the forks Luke!
    Hamil: The force?!?
    Homer: No, the forks!

    .. Hamil stabs a guy in the leg with a fork.
     

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