Indian FAQs

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by danalec99, Dec 29, 2004.

  1. danalec99

    danalec99 TPF Noob!

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    Questions asked to Indians abroad:

    Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
    A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot.
    In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see,
    once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

    Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country.
    All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
    A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house.
    But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

    Q. Does India have cars?
    A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.

    Q. Does India have TV?
    A. No. We only have cable.

    Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
    A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

    Q. How come you speak English so well?
    A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indians as
    servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.

    Q. Are you a Hindi?
    A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

    Q. Do you speak Hindu?
    A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam, Buddhism, Jainism and Christianity.

    Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
    A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.

    Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
    A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

    Q. Are there any business companies in India?
    A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian principles of self-sufficiency.
    We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see
    all these thin skinny Indians -- it is a lot of hard work.

    Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
    A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet.
    So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat.

    Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
    A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.

    Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
    A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

    Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
    A. I prefer it to coming naked.
     
  2. MDowdey

    MDowdey Guest

    HAHAHAHAHA...SOO GOOD!!!



    MD
     
  3. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

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    LMAO, these are great as well!
     
  4. Luminosity

    Luminosity No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    :LOL: !
     
  5. Bokeh

    Bokeh TPF Noob!

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    TEEEEXas
    RACIST!

    Sorry, I just figured SOMEONE would say that and thought I'd beat them to it.
     
  6. danalec99

    danalec99 TPF Noob!

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    Why would SOMEONE say that?
     
  7. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

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    I'd say it's more against ignorant people. Are we allowed to make fun of them? ;)
     
  8. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Funny stuff, Danalec, thanks for posting!!! :LOL:
     
  9. danalec99

    danalec99 TPF Noob!

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    My intention was far from offending someone. You could delete this thread if you want to. My apologies to anyone who has been offended!
     
  10. voodoocat

    voodoocat ))<>(( Supporting Member

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    I doubt anyone was offended. I think it's hilarious!
     
  11. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

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    It was a joke in reference to the earlier comment that it was racist, hece the ( ;) )at the end. I don't think anyone has been or will be offended Daniel, your intent was clear!!
     
  12. MDowdey

    MDowdey Guest

    i wasnt offended, i think it rocked really hard! it stays!!!!!!! :wink: :lol:


    md
     

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