Ken Rockwell facts:

Discussion in 'Photographic Discussions' started by inTempus, Mar 12, 2009.

  1. inTempus
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    inTempus New Member

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    I thought this was pretty funny.



    • Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
    • Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
    • Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
    • Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
    • Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
    • Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
    • Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
    • Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
    • Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
    • Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
    • When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
    • Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
    • Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
    • Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
    • Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
    • Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
    • Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
    • Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
    • Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
    • Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
    • When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
    • Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
    • On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
    • Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
    • When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
    • For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
    • Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
    • Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
    • Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
    • The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
    • Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
    • A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
    • Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
    • Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
  2. fwellers
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    fwellers New Member

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    The legend continues ... and grows.
  3. TUX424
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    TUX424 New Member

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    My favorites are about Ken controlling everything
    I laughed at the Nikon L lens...
    I'm such a dork:(
  4. Garbz
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    Garbz New Member

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  5. Ejazzle
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    Ejazzle New Member

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    that was a good laugh! thanks haha
  6. slapshot™
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    slapshot™ New Member

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    Last edited: Mar 13, 2009
  7. stsinner
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    stsinner New Member

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    OMG!! "Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes".. That's priceless!!
  8. MACollum
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    MACollum New Member

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    I call BS! :er: LOL
  9. Marty Kay
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    Marty Kay New Member

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    Even here in far flung Australia we hear of Ken Rockwell. Hey Ken, after having seen a few of your galleries I did a double take - just can't believe how much colour jacking and sharpening you do. You are also a lot like David Doubilet (who I know). He admits that he takes the shotgun approach. Literally hundreds of shots of the one subject with tiny, subtle differences in lighting and angle. Not all of us have the resources (or time) to do that. Some of my best shots have been a group of only 3, EV bracketed 1/3 - 0 - 1/3. But unless a person derives 100% income from pro photography, not 100%, in Ken's eyes you are not a pro, so I guess it follows you know nothing.
  10. j-dogg
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    j-dogg New Member

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    Ken Rockwell's lenses aren't image stabilized......he holds the earth still before he clicks the shutter.

    Ken Rockwell once shot in the golden hour for three weeks straight.

    There is no such thing as automatic exposure metering, Ken Rockwell just bends the light in front of your camera.

    Ken Rockwell is the only photographer to successfully shoot at F0

    Ken Rockwell once processed a RAW format image with a slide rule in 14 seconds.

    Ken Rockwell shot large format through a Fisher Price View-Master and got an image.
  11. Flash Harry
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    Flash Harry New Member

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    I bet Ken is worth a fortune, his marketing is shear genius, wish I could get the free publicity you lot give him. H
  12. Ub3rdoRK
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    Ub3rdoRK New Member

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    I guess I don't understand why everyone hates him. Is it because he shoots nikon or am I missing something?
  13. white
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    white New Member

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    Would it be going out on a limb to say he's kinda like the Thomas Kinkade of photography?
  14. Chamelion 6
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    Chamelion 6 New Member

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    I can't say I hate the guy, mostly I just ignore him.

    His stuff is just mostly over saturated compositionally uninteresting snapshots. That's my opinion. I'm simply not drawn to his stuff. It's not bad, it's just plain boring. Kind of like a TV dinner version of fine quisine. :meh:
  15. JerrfyLube
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    JerrfyLube New Member

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    Its because he spouts off total non-sense and believes it so much to be true that he made a website about it.

    He is a blathering idiot and not much more.

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