letter of resignation

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by JonMikal, Oct 14, 2005.

  1. JonMikal

    JonMikal TPF Noob!

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    this is great: (sorry for the eratic font sizes)

    Letter of Resignation



    Date: Tue, 7 May 2002 14:15:27 -0400



    Mr ,

    As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary math still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.



    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)



    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never screw with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

    Sincerely
     
  2. MDowdey

    MDowdey Guest

    OWNED.
     
  3. terri

    terri Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

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    bahahaha!!!!:thumbup:
     
  4. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    the title with your name under it gave me a scare....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    when i read this, i died laughing... then remembered, i have an administrator that is causing utter chaos...not to mention hate and discontent.....

    think i might borrow a few phrases here... some of this applies so well, it almost was written for him, now for a lock of his hair, and my curse shall be complete...!!
     
  5. thebeginning

    thebeginning TPF Noob!

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    my words exactly.

    that was THE best thing i have read this week.
     
  6. clarinetJWD

    clarinetJWD The Naked Spammer Staff Member

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    PWNED more like it :lol:
     
  7. Unimaxium

    Unimaxium TPF Noob!

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    PW|\|3D is even more like it :lol:

    That was really funny.
     
  8. TPOL

    TPOL TPF Noob!

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    :lmao:
     
  9. Artemis

    Artemis Just Punked Himself

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    What a 1337 letter :D

    Beautifully written, was it you who wrote this? (sorry for being ignorant) or was this something you found on the net? Hehe its made my day :)
     

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