life juice

[captain-spanky]

Sometimes I reflect back on all the beer I have consumed. Then I look into
the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes
and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their
dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink
this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
* Jack Handy



I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
* Frank Sinatra



The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
* William Butler Yeats



An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools.
* Ernest Hemingway



Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep
your mouth shut.
* Ernest Hemingway



A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
* W. C. Fields



What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
* Tee Mans



When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Henny Youngman




I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
* Tom Waits



24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
* Stephen Wright



When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
* Brian O'Rourke



You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps
if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at
the very least you need a beer.
* Frank Zappa



Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
* Winston Churchill



Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
* Benjamin Franklin



Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
* Dave Barry



The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
* Humphrey Bogart



Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
* Kaiser Wilhelm



Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
* Dave Barry



You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.
* Anonymous



You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* Dean Martin



Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
* Anonymous



To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a support Group.
* Anonymous



:thumbsup:

 

[Dew]

im sure my hubby will agree with u on this one

 

[Darfion]

And me

 

[Darfion]

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do
Dylan Thomas (1914 - 1953)

 

[Darfion]

This has got me thinking. As you may be aware from my avitar that i am a big Spike Milligan fan. Here are some of his quotes:

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.
-- (Puckoon, 1963)
The Grand Old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men.
His case comes up next week.
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

"Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy."
"I speak Esparanto like a native."
"In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife."
"Hi vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum."
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."
"My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic."

"I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it ."

 

[MDowdey]

cheers!


md

 

[carlita]

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
* Kaiser Wilhelm

woohoo!! :goodvibe: :thumbsup:

 

[oriecat]

As you may be aware from my avitar that i am a big Spike Milligan fan.

I always thought that was you!

 

[havoc]

Beer and Dr Pepper, As Carli once said, Its the necter of the Gods"
LOL

 

[carlita]

yes, yes it is. :mrgreen:

 

[Darfion]

As you may be aware from my avitar that i am a big Spike Milligan fan.

I always thought that was you!

My mother - in - law always says I come out with a lot of Milliganisms. But that's where the similarities end.