Dagwood56
No longer a newbie, moving up!
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- Jul 19, 2007
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I'm looking for some advice on a personal matter....I have never been close to my father's side of the family, as a matter of fact they have gone out of their way over the years to make me feel like I did not belong. After my parents passed away and I moved from New Jersey, I have been more than happy not being in close touch with these family members. I was annoyed a few years ago when my uncle passed away and I found out about it online while checking obits in a Jersey paper. None of them bothered to call me and let me know. I sent an email paying my respects and then in response to an email I got back from one of them, I [as tactfully as I could], told them how I felt about the family. A few months later an aunt sent me a rather snotty letter saying I was the one who alienated myself from them by never wanting to go to family functions. I'm like my father, he did not like parties, I don't like crowds or social functions family or otherwise and as family, they should know this - had they ever bothered to get to know or understand me that is.
Anyway, a few days ago I received a friend request from my cousin on facebook and I ignored it. I've since found out another cousin has died. Today in the snail mail, I get a letter from an aunt also expressing an interest in friending me on facebook, so we can keep in touch she said. This is the same aunt who sent the snotty letter a few years ago and is the one I have the most problem with. I find myself at a loss for what to do....do I do the polite thing and add them to my friend list, where they will then see my "life" as an open book, so to speak on facebook, or should I maintain my beliefs and leave the door shut on all of them? To give you an idea of how estranged things have been over the past 20 years in general, I have given my husband specific instructions as to what I want EXcluded in my own obit when the time comes - he has orders not to include any of my fathers family only my 3 cousins on my mothers side.
Really need some thoughts and advice - Thanks.
Anyway, a few days ago I received a friend request from my cousin on facebook and I ignored it. I've since found out another cousin has died. Today in the snail mail, I get a letter from an aunt also expressing an interest in friending me on facebook, so we can keep in touch she said. This is the same aunt who sent the snotty letter a few years ago and is the one I have the most problem with. I find myself at a loss for what to do....do I do the polite thing and add them to my friend list, where they will then see my "life" as an open book, so to speak on facebook, or should I maintain my beliefs and leave the door shut on all of them? To give you an idea of how estranged things have been over the past 20 years in general, I have given my husband specific instructions as to what I want EXcluded in my own obit when the time comes - he has orders not to include any of my fathers family only my 3 cousins on my mothers side.
Really need some thoughts and advice - Thanks.