Need Feedback and Proofing

Discussion in 'The Professional Gallery' started by elsaspet, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. elsaspet

    elsaspet TPF Noob!

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    I thought about putting this in new sites, but this is VERY wedding specific, so I put it here.
    New site going live today. I've been under the gun with weddings, and all the other shoots, and I've looked at this until my eyes bleed.
    I welcome all feedback, suggestions, and proofreaders, spell checkers especially welcome.
    Hugs!
    http://www.visionsinwhite.com/blu25/index2.php
     
  2. theusher

    theusher TPF Noob!

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    If you wanted nitpicking...

    1. I noticed it's very wide, and causes horizontal scroll bars on my browser. I use a high resolution at 1280x1024. ( I should say I don't fully expand my browser edge to edge.)

    2. On the drop down menus, some of the text expands past the black box. It's hard for me to explain, and since it's flash I don't think I could take a screen shot of it.

    That's all I noticed on a very quick look at it. Overall I like it though, good work.
     
  3. elsaspet

    elsaspet TPF Noob!

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    Thank you very much Usher. I did the wide screeen intentionally. I want to block brides without it. It's a price point thing.
    Yeah, I hate the expansion on the box thing. I don't know how to rectify it, but my target audience is 20, artistic, and hates trends. I can't think of a good name for engagments that fit. Can you? Please help me out here. :)
     
  4. elsaspet

    elsaspet TPF Noob!

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    Adding, Nit Pick away. Keep in Mind, by Brides comes from WPJA, and referral.
    Hugs and thanks for Helping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Cindy
     
  5. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    The 'Who We Are' section, third paragraph, first line:
    'Insure' is used and I think you meant 'Ensure'.

    In the same paragraph you use the word 'event' three times in one sentence.
    Try replacing the second 'event' with 'different things'.
    Replace '...the events that...' to the end of the sentence with '...them later'.

    Just suggestions. Will proof read it all when I get time.
    It loads OK on a Mac with Safari. My one niggle is Flash stuff, though nice, takes time to load even with Broadband (and many people never update their Flash viewers so won't see any of it - or use dial-up) so you might consider some pages to just have a static image and text.
    I found myself tapping my foot and thinking 'get a move on...'

    Looking good, though, hotstuff. You've come a long way. ;)
     
  6. elsaspet

    elsaspet TPF Noob!

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    Thankyouthankyouthankyou Hertz, I'll work on all of the above except for the load speed. I'm looking for brides with T-1!!!
    :)
    Boy, I've missed you!
     
  7. Stevedevil

    Stevedevil TPF Noob!

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    Hi

    All I will say is that in UK, it took a few seconds before the stream starts with the Music & Pictures, with a very small black bar that you find hard to know if the site is doing anything, this is prob due to the mass file you are trying to run on start of pages, maybe on start up show dialogue of your company with a logo at the bottom stating " Loading Please Wait " as by the time we see a header of some sort the stream will have started, I dont know how other users ( in US maybe ) found the loading.

    As a real nit pic, your first photo kinda spoils the whole package as I feel The mans hand is rather near the young ladies left Breast, and his expression is like he is doing something wrong, If this was your intention then Im sorry, but you have posted some AMAZING photo's lately, so I will ask for your thoughts on that photo ( as your a million times better than me lol )

    Apart from that I will go back and have another play

    Cheers

    Steve ( UK )
     
  8. Stevedevil

    Stevedevil TPF Noob!

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    Wow changed site already,

    retouching looks awfully wrong

    re-touching I think looks better ( benefits section )
     
  9. Stevedevil

    Stevedevil TPF Noob!

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    Hi only me again

    A couple more points that may help

    1) Premier Package $1900
    Unlimited Coverage
    Unlimited Images taken
    Two Photographer Coverage
    Full resolution size Digital Negatives on DVD with unlimited print rights


    Try

    Premier Package $1900
    Unlimited Coverage
    Unlimited Images taken
    Two Photographer Coverage
    Full resolution size Digital Negatives on DVD
    Unlimited print rights


    As it can be confusing when text spills into next row

    Also a tip

    As you say


    CURRENTLY BOOKING 2008

    Selected dates still available in September & December 2007

    This may be better as a seperate section that will be easilly updateable your end without changing lots of your pages, maybe a section on " Availability " or Dates Available So you can leave rest of site to work without changing every page Cheers Steve
     
  10. elsaspet

    elsaspet TPF Noob!

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    Thanks Steve, I will see it over. Thanks!
     
  11. Stevedevil

    Stevedevil TPF Noob!

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    Im sorry but im a real nit picker with words


    Black and White Conversions: Black and White conversions are a stardard of our services, and will be included in every package at no extra charge. For the photos you choose, we will also be happy to add sepia tones, selective coloring, and other effects as well.


    Maybe

    Black and White Conversions: Black and White conversions are a stardard of our services, and are included in every package. We are also happy to add any tones, coloring, and effects for the photos you choose.


    You change from are to will be quite a lot, where simple reading can work better

    Steve
     
  12. Stevedevil

    Stevedevil TPF Noob!

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    Options Galore: You have unlimited choices with our ala carte options. You may add albums, proofbooks, coffee table books, or additional slideshows to any of our packages


    Should be a-la-carte
     

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