Need some advice...

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by ShutterBug4_4, Sep 7, 2004.

  1. ShutterBug4_4

    ShutterBug4_4 TPF Noob!

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    Hey guys, I need your advice. I've been in college for a few years, and my younger sister just started college at the same place. Well, she's been here for about a week now, and classes haven't even started. She's already gotten her tongue pierced, started partying, and wants to go clubbing, etc..... :shock: I know that it may not sound as bad as I'm thinking it is, but my big sister instincts are kicking in, and I'm starting to worry. It's not that I don't want her to have fun, I just don't want her to make a bad decision that could potentially end her college career.

    Part of me is thinking that I should talk with her and tell her that classes should be her #1 priority....the other part of me is thinking that I should just try to sit back, and let her make her own decisions, and her own mistakes.

    I just don't know what to do....if you guys have any advice at all, I would really appreciate it. Thanks for the help.
     
  2. Digital Matt

    Digital Matt alter ego: Analog Matt

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    In my own experience, people telling you not to do something only makes you want to do it more. I can remember when I was 17, and this older friend of mine, who was in his 30s was always telling me not to smoke. I already did, but he was always harping on me to quit. I can remember thinking, "Yeah whatever". 10 years later, I've quit, and I wish I had never done it, but I had to learn myself.

    I would say, let her make her own mistakes, but be nearby to make sure it doesn't get out of hand.
     
  3. Karalee

    Karalee hOtLiPs!

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    Id have to agree with Matt on this one. Sometimes the best lessons in life are what we learn from our own mistakes.
     
  4. airgunr

    airgunr TPF Noob!

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    She's at the point in life now that no matter what you say she will do what she wants.

    Be there for her if she crashes and burns in but you have to step back and let her make her own mistakes at this point. It is a phase we all have to go through.
     
  5. altered ego

    altered ego TPF Noob!

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    she might settle down when classes start, but it's the right time to party.... i missed out on all the partying at college and i really regret it now!
    Just keep an eye on things but don't TELL her to do anything unless things really start to get out of hand. Just remember that people study with very different styles.. :)
     
  6. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

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    I agree. You can talk until you're blue in the face but until she realizes on her own nothing will change and she'll probably just get upset. That's not to say that you have to support her choices. My parents let me make my own mistakes but I always knew when they disagreed :)
     
  7. Big Mike

    Big Mike I am Big, I am Mike Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Maybe you should get something pierced and go out clubbing with her. Sometimes it turns out that college friendships and experiences are more important than a few classes.

    I'm not saying "be a bad student" but don't forget to have fun while you are there. All too soon it will be over and you won't have the opportunity to "party like you are in college"
     
  8. graigdavis

    graigdavis TPF Noob!

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    I remember coming home after my first semester and EVERY girl that I graduated with came back with a pierced tongue. They all put on a lot of weight from partying way to much.

    In fact, I can tell you about a lot of girls that just partied their fresh year, failed a lot of classes and learned their lesson. You may have been able to party in highschool all the time and pass, but college is a different story. She will find out soon enough.
     
  9. ShutterBug4_4

    ShutterBug4_4 TPF Noob!

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    Thanks for all the advice guys. I kinda figured that it would be best to just let her be, even though it might be difficult for me to sit back and watch.

    Haha, first off, I have my ears pierced-that's enough for me. And hey, I'm all for having fun at college, and I want her to get out and have fun, I even told her I'd party with her. I mean, that's one of the best parts of college. But I just want her to know that she still needs to keep her grades decent, cuz if she lets her GPA slip, she'll lose her scholarship and won't be able to stay in college, and I'm sure it would be something she would regret.

    Thanks again guys! I'm sure everything will work out fine!
     
  10. Not Neve

    Not Neve TPF Noob!

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    I don't mean this in a snotty way but if I don't preface it with that, i fear it will seem like it....if she's smart enough to get that scholarship, she's smart enough to know she needs to keep the GPA up. Seriously, though, she's lucky to have you there to look out for her. Unfortunately, you're probably best to sit back and bite your tongue unless things get really out of hand. And fortunately, piercings can heal up if one changes their mind down the road.

    Good luck!
     

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