New traditionalist

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Hertz van Rental, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    I believe it is usual at this point to start a thread offering to answer any questions that people may care to ask of me.
    Me being what I am I may choose to answer truthfully, humourously, obscurely or a totaly different question altogether - depending on how I feel. And you'll have to figure out which is which.
    I might even wander off and start doing something else.....
     
  2. photogoddess

    photogoddess TPF Noob!

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    What side of toast do you butter?

    Do you prefer lemons or limes in your water?

    What kind of women do you like?

    How did you decide to join this forum?

    Who would you like to have your love child?

    That enough for starters??? :sexywink:
     
  3. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    What side of toast do you butter?

    The opposite side to the one it lands on if I drop it.

    Do you prefer lemons or limes in your water?

    I prefer ice - you Americans ought to try it.

    What kind of women do you like?

    The female kind.

    How did you decide to join this forum?

    It was purely accidental. I was trying to get an insurance quote and I clicked the wrong button.

    Who would you like to have your love child?

    No more children, thanks. But there are one or two ladies I wouldn't mind going through the motions with.

    That enough for starters???

    I never have a starter - I go straight for the main course.
     
  4. photogoddess

    photogoddess TPF Noob!

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    Damn my dirty mind! :eyebrows:

    Ok... how about some more?

    What is the speed of stupidity?

    What time of the day do you feel your best?

    Since you like ice in your water, where else do you like ice?

    Name 5 uses for a banana.

    What is your favorite song and why?
     
  5. Andrea K

    Andrea K TPF Noob!

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    how many elephants can stand on the brooklyn bridge at once?

    if there were six chickens in the cage and three left, how many ducks were in the lake?

    how many different kinds of grapes are there?

    how much money do i have in my piggy bank?

    what is your favorite brand of duct tape?

    does horseradish come from horses or radishes?

    thats all for now, thanks :er:
     
  6. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    Ok... how about some more?

    Well as no-one else seems to be interested...

    What is the speed of stupidity?

    It's difficult to be precise but at least twice the speed of smart. There is a lot less thinking involved.

    What time of the day do you feel your best?

    My best what?

    Since you like ice in your water, where else do you like ice?

    On a beach, by the pool, in the 'fridge...

    Name 5 uses for a banana.

    Rodney, Cyril, Claude, Dierdre and Kim.

    What is your favorite song and why?

    This changes almost from hour to hour - as indeed do my reasons.
     
  7. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    During what part of your life so far were you the happiest, and why?
     
  8. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    how many elephants can stand on the brooklyn bridge at once?

    African or Indian?

    if there were six chickens in the cage and three left, how many ducks were in the lake?

    Half as many as the number you first thought divided by two-thirds times the reciprocal of your imagination. Approximately.

    how many different kinds of grapes are there?

    Three. Red, white and sour. Four if you count wrath.

    how much money do i have in my piggy bank?

    You have a piggy bank? What's wrong with putting your money in a shoebox under the bed? That's what the Banks use.

    what is your favorite brand of duct tape?

    Advance Tape made in Leicester. They still make the best.

    does horseradish come from horses or radishes?

    Manure comes from horses and wind comes from radishes. Neither go well with food. Remind me not to come to your house when you are cooking roast beef.

    thats all for now, thanks

    Yes, I had noticed. Isn't it strange how everyone decided to go on holiday at the same time? Or perhaps it's my aftershave.....
     
  9. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    Hey...dont' forget my question!

    Here's some more...

    Why do thin, fit, beautiful girls always complain about how fat and ugly they are? (um, excuse me, but if they are fat and ugly, I must be a hideous HIPPO!!!) :lol:

    Why are so many men sexist pigs?

    Why are men the most stubborn creatures on earth?

    I'm tired and have to be at work in a few hours...why am I still up, on the net, asking stupid questions?
     
  10. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    I'm always happy. God bless medication.
     
  11. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    Why do thin, fit, beautiful girls always complain about how fat and ugly they are? (um, excuse me, but if they are fat and ugly, I must be a hideous HIPPO!!!) :lol:

    It's just attention seeking. They know they are thin, fit and beautiful so by claiming to be fat and ugly they will have loads of men flattering them and telling them they aren't. It's the same reason smart people keep claiming to be dumb.

    Why are so many men sexist pigs?

    I blame their parents - and thin, fit, beautiful girls who sit around claiming to be fat and ugly.

    Why are men the most stubborn creatures on earth?

    Men are amateurs at this when compared to women.

    I'm tired and have to be at work in a few hours...why am I still up, on the net, asking stupid questions?

    Have you ruled out stupidity? I do it too so don't worry.
     
  12. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    Nah...stupidity isn't ruled out! :lol: I do this to myself night after night, then complain about how tired I am!!!! Yeah...I'm an idiot! :)
     

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