Now they're mad at me !!

Discussion in 'Photography Beginners' Forum' started by ottor, Jun 16, 2009.

  1. ottor

    ottor No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    My son has a friend who's getting married... They can't afford a photphr, and asked if I'd shoot their wedding.... I said no. Dont' have any interest in taking pictures of children or weddings.. Now..., I'm the bad guy. They keep saying that this couple dzn't care about how professional the pictures are or arent.. they're not fussy.. (RIGHT !!!) I've seen bridezillas!! I told them to buy a dozen throw-away cameras and distribute them among the guests to shoot and turn in at the end of the day - at least by knowing the way the picures were taken, there'd be no expectations, and the bad pictures would turn out to be a fun thing..

    Simply put - I dont' know how. - I dont' have the equipment, nor the experience.

    I dont' want to be the one that is responsible for the lasting memories of the biggest day in their lives... I'm not that good yet, and even though they can say now that they're not fussy, I know that I'll take some crap down the road ... "Who took THOSE pictures ???" Just because I can take a beautiful landscape or wildlife photograph, dznt' mean I can shoot a wedding... apples and oranges... I truely believe that no good deed goes unpunished, so I guess I'll just live with it.. but - I really am hesitant to do it..

    So .... am I a bad guy, or should I just do it and re-enforce to them that they shouldn't expect a pro job?

    As far as photography goes, I'm still to young and unsophisticated to have a 'reputation', but I wouldn't want to tarnish any imaginary one that people perceive...

    What do ya' think ??

    r
     
  2. Clawed

    Clawed TPF Noob!

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    You know, I think you made the right choice here. It really comes down to your comfort level. If you happen to be pretty close with the couple and would like to help them out as a gift, there is certainly nothing wrong with at least taking your camera and snapping a few anyway. I am just getting into weddings and I am already feeling the stress about being the one responsible for the couples lasting memories of their big day. Not worth the stress if it's something you have little interest in.

    I hope they would understand your position here, but I am pretty sure they do not realize that a wedding is a very demanding type of shoot. They probably figure, 'hey your a photographer with an expensive looking camera so Im sure you could do a good job.'
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2009
  3. PhotoXopher

    PhotoXopher TPF Noob!

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    I think you're one of the most level headed and honest people I've ever seen post. :lol:

    Good for you for knowing and realizing your limits and not feeling like you have to do this. Weddings are NOT for everyone (myself included), they are a unique beast that can only be tamed by the right photographers with the right gear.

    Let 'em be mad... I'm sure they can find another sucker :D
     
  4. Heck

    Heck TPF Noob!

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    If they can't afford a pro and you feel you can do better than most then I would give it a shot.. But its up to you to make that call. Only you can see or tell if these people are the "right" type to do a favor for. As a teen I took full video of a wedding for my aunt and had no problem with it cuz these people are like gold. You can kinda tell if some people are gonna be a problem or not if you know them well.
     
  5. LarryD

    LarryD TPF Noob!

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    You did the right thing.... You will be happy and they will forget after a while.. This is a case where they do not want to spend the money on a photographer, but if the photos aren't what they want, they will complain about you forever if you went ahead..

    Tell the bride and groom to invite the guests to take as many photographs as they want since almost everybody has a digital camera these days..... and provide a CD copy or dupe prints to the couple..

    Out of all those who respond, and there will be some, they can pick out and print up their own favorites..
     
  6. Omitinibu

    Omitinibu TPF Noob!

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    your not a bad guy. thats very smart.. never take a job (even if its unpaid) if you feel the work load is too much for you.. you can discourage your self by being disappointed with your photos..
    however.. i like the "win to risk ratio rule" the bigger the risk the bigger the lose but.. if the tables turn to ur favor the bigger the risk the bigger the win.. you may not feel you can handle it. but maybe your son sees differently.. maybe your better than you think.. and maybe just maybe.. this risky act may bring you customers.. people who like the way you captured the moment in their eyes or even how you took a picture of the cake.. who knows..

    id say go for it.. at the very worse youlll just take average pictures and they will get what they wanted..

    joe
     
  7. Sherman Banks

    Sherman Banks TPF Noob!

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    Good choice. And the recommendation for the disposables is great too if they don't really care about the quality. I personally never want to shoot a wedding, whether my skill level is there or not, so I can see where you're coming from.
     
  8. Big Mike

    Big Mike I am Big, I am Mike Staff Member Supporting Member

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    You definitely did the right thing. If you are not comfortable shooting a wedding, even as a 'no expectations' for family or friends...then you shouldn't have to or be made to feel bad because you don't want to.

    Did they try to pull this with the Cake vendor, the florist or with the dress? :roll:

    They probably wouldn't even need to buy those disposables....most people own digital point & shoot cameras now anyway. Maybe have them set up an E-mail address specifically for people to E-mail them photos...or give people blank CD discs with return envelopes.

    Or better yet, convince them that a pro photographer is really one of those things that they shouldn't skimp on for their wedding. After it's all over, and years into the future, they would likely regret not having nice photos of their wedding that they don't have to hide in a shoe box.
     
  9. KmH

    KmH Helping photographers learn to fish Supporting Member

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    Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Yep, you did good.

    Keep repeating to them, "I dont' know how. - I dont' have the equipment."

    If they still don't get it, it's their problem.

    Ya gotta just love the interaction of family when it comes to photography.
     
  10. PhotoXopher

    PhotoXopher TPF Noob!

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    Tell them they need to provide you with a 10-800mm f/1.4 zoom and you'll do it.

    Or

    Say you'll do it but you want a backup photographer that will run them $3000. :D
     
  11. Battou

    Battou No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    Good call, Been there before. Trust me they will get over it.

    One of the best things you can do now to help them get over it faster it to take your camera with you and be a snapshooter and sit and chat with the photographer they do end up hiring in a manor that he would overhear the conversation. That way he just might see that there is so much more involved in this than just having a camera. This could back fire if he hires the cheapest joe shmoe he could find and ends up with some one less sophisticated and experienced than you but then again what can ya do, it's his wedding.

    Reguardless of the photographer he hires you can still give them copies of the snapshots you grab during the event and they will abbrieciate them with out requiring any sort of responsability on your part.
     
  12. Josh66

    Josh66 Been spending a lot of time on here!

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    I would (did) do the same thing in that situation.

    Better to make them mad temporarily for turning them down than piss them off forever for missing a shot they wanted or messing something up.
     

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