Old man feeding birds - JPGs, PSD, RAW available

Discussion in 'Critique Forum Archives' started by Iron Flatline, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. Hi all.

    My wife loves this shot, whereas I feel it's not really that good. I don't think it is compositionally particularly interesting, and I've not been able work with it. I've decided to pursue it in B&W cause I can't seem to make anything else really fly. Please let me know what you think.

    Some of you are very good hands-on, and prefer to show rather than describe what you would do. For you, I am uploading a PSD file (though it is not the one I used to come up with the JPGs, I deleted that) as well as the RAW file. It is a DNG from a Leica M8, so you'll need the latest Adobe Raw Converter Plug-In to make it work.

    I'm also going to upload a couple of JPGs for those of you who only work in that particular format.

    This one was converted using Alien Skin Exposure Black & White Film emulator, specifically low-grain Tri-X 100:

    [​IMG]


    This one was done with Rob Carr's B&W Converter Action:

    [​IMG]

    One more in color, minor adjustments, not cropped:

    [​IMG]

    As you can see, they're not perfect. I am having a tough time finding a good crop, and I believe the image needs it. The composition as is doesn't work for me. Fortunately it's pretty sharp, so it can be cropped pretty tightly.

    If you are interested, you can download the PSD file here

    And if you are REALLY motivated, you can download the DNG (RAW) file here

    I look forward to spending the next several days seeing what the TPF Community can teach me.

    Oh, and feel free to tell me if you like it. Maybe my wife is right, it wouldn't be the first or last time....
     
  2. just x joey

    just x joey TPF Noob!

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    i LOVE the first one.
     
  3. just x joey

    just x joey TPF Noob!

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    here's my go:
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  4. LaFoto

    LaFoto Just Corinna in real life Staff Member Supporting Member

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    Well, I for one like the scene. You just managed to capture a really nice - quite intimate even - scene here. The pigeons in flight give the whole an additional aspect of action. Furthermore (this is me taking into account the image that you posted here FIRST), I like how the canal (?) leads through the image, helping the eyes make the round from the scene through the entire frame and back to the scene. I also quite like the "veil" of the willow that forms the background to your scene.

    My only nitpick is his cropped off feet.
    Other than that, though, I think that your wife is right!
    (Wasn't it Mitica who once posted this "saying" in the OT: Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is a husband ? So there :greenpbl: )
     
  5. Finsen

    Finsen TPF Noob!

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    Here are my thoughts, hope they're helpful.

    My first thought about this photo was to make it into square format. The first picture seems a bit tight on the left hand side which makes the old man feel uncomfortable. Then, on the right side, the canal seems a bit empty and the buildings are quite "busy". The right hand side seems to distract the viewer's viewpoint, and the picture seems to deviate from its theme.

    So here is my edit:

    [​IMG]

    I gave the old man some more room to the left, and I cut out the buildings to the right. Now the tree forms a nice backdrop to the scene and the focus of the photo falls onto the old man and the birds. (BW conversion action downloaded from Matin Fuchs' photoblog)

    Just my opinions. Feel free to discuss! Comments and opinions are always welcomed! Again, hope these are helpful. :)
     
  6. Finsen, I like it. I wasn't sure how to frame it, but that's definitely a version that would work.

    Like LaFoto, I'm horribly irritated that I didn't get his feet. I have 20 images of him, all with his feet, and this is the ONLY one that didn't capture them. Doh!

    Joey, I like your B+W conversion, any particular technique?
     
  7. JohnMF

    JohnMF TPF Noob!

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    i like the first one. I just think it could use some dodging an burning in certain areas.
     
  8. Parago

    Parago TPF Noob!

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    Ok here's my go at it.. as always I like radical crops so I went even further and turned it into a vertical picture. I gave it a burgundy/gold tone, and adjusted certain areas contrast- and brightness-wise (swan, rail, man's face).
    Hope you like it.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. JohnMF, I tried that, but ultimately it didn't quite resolve it for me.

    Parago, that's really good, my front-runner so far. I may have to copy your crop.

    Oh, one more thing that I didn't point out: the second of my two B+Ws has the lady over the man's left shoulder PS'd out. Look follow his gaze past his nose and past the shoulder, you'll find her. She was Photoshopped out poorly, but I figure for display on my photoblog it's good enough.
     
  10. Parago

    Parago TPF Noob!

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    Yea I cut her out, too.. too distracting. :sexywink:

    For some reason i wasn't able to download your RAW or PSD files, so I had to work with the 'ripped' pic from this thread, I'm sure it'd look even better if I could ahve the original. (hint, hint) :blushing:
     
  11. Can't you just click on them and save them to your computer? Is it not working?
     
  12. Parago

    Parago TPF Noob!

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    The download worked but I couldn't open the RAW file compression I guess. I downloaded the PSD file now and will work on it some.. :sexywink:
     

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