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    As part of our new initiative on TPF you can come and take part in a series of new in-depth articles and discussions every month. Featured this month are the methods that one of our top avian photographers, Kristofer Rowe uses to get his stunning photos (as also featured on Tamron USA website as well!). So drop in and take part, I know that Kristofer will be happy to answer your questions and hear what you do out in the field with your camera!

    Capturing Distinctive Bird Images

One for the Baby Photographers

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Xmetal, Apr 5, 2005.

  1. Xmetal

    Xmetal TPF Noob!

    Nov 22, 2004
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    Newcastle, Australia
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    The Browns were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

    On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

    Half an hour later, just by chance, Roger, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam, I've come to..."

    "Oh, no need to explain, I've been expecting you," Mrs Brown cut in.

    "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well good! I've made a specialty of babies."

    "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."

    After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

    "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometime the living room floor is fun too... you can really spread out!!"

    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

    "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

    "My, My, that's a lot of..." gasped Mrs Brown.

    "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

    "Don't I know it," Mrs Brown muttered.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

    "This was done on top of a bus."

    "Oh my gawd!!" Mrs Brown exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs Brown.

    "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

    "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs Brown, eyes widened in amazement.

    "Yes" the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate!!

    Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

    Mrs Brown leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um....equipment?"

    "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."


    "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!!!"

  2. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

    Jun 21, 2004
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    :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. havoc

    havoc Jedi something or other

    Aug 23, 2003
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    Portland Oregon, USA
    LOL I love it. I too must have a tripod to rest my Canon on. It is far to heavy when fully extended to hold for more then a few seconds LOL.
  4. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

    Feb 5, 2004
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    North Central Illinois
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    I think that was posted on here along time ago! But it's SOOOO FUNNY!!!
  5. Jaffapie

    Jaffapie TPF Noob!

    Jun 4, 2004
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    Belfast, N.Ireland
    Haha that's the first time I've heard that...........brilliant!!!! :D
  6. Canon Fan

    Canon Fan TPF Noob!

    May 28, 2004
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    Purgatory, Wisconsin
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    :shock: :lol:

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