Pet Rules

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Corry, Sep 9, 2006.

  1. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    ...this was posted on one of the doggy forums I've been browsing. :p Thought it was cute.





    PET RULES

    (To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.)

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.


    Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.


    If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not
    mandatory.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (that's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Usually come when called
    5. Never drive your car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
     
  2. Andrea K

    Andrea K TPF Noob!

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    :lmao:
     
  3. Torus34

    Torus34 No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    That brightened my evening.

    Thanks for taking the time to post it.
     
  4. wolfepakt

    wolfepakt TPF Noob!

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    This is not true! Select Comfort has a "Grand King" bed that is 4" wider and 18" longer than a standard bed. Only $3,919.99 see : Select Comfort!
     
  5. bytch_mynickname

    bytch_mynickname TPF Noob!

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    hmmm...I so need one of those! WIth 2 big dogs and an always moving man, I am lucky if I can even sit on the bed at times. I bet sheets for that thing would be expensive, probably have to be custom made.

    On second look, I don't think I would like it as I don't need more length, the width is where we have a problem. If the dogs would sleep at the bottom like normal dogs this would help. My 85 pound pup thinks he needs to sleep in between us, head on the pillow and all; thankfully he doesn't get away with it often. :)
     
  6. oldnavy170

    oldnavy170 TPF Noob!

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    Wow, I still haven't moved up from a Full Size :D
     
  7. JTHphoto

    JTHphoto TPF Noob!

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    :thumbup:

    :lol:

    I have to show this to my wife... our puppy is spoiled rotten when it comes to most things, but the bed is off limits! So, she sits at the edge and paws at us and huffs until we get up... brat.
     
  8. samaria

    samaria TPF Noob!

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    :)
    PET INFORMATION
    Sturgis Road Campground is happy to accommodate those families that include pets. We welcome your WELL BEHAVED pet. There is a charge per pet depending on where and when you are staying here. Please follow the rules listed below. These rules will be enforced:

    • Pets are to be on a LEASH at ALL times and under adult supervision
    • Proof of rabies vaccine is required
    • Please carry equipment necessary to clean up after your pet
    • Pets should never be allowed to make noise that could disturb others
    • Pets are not allowed in any of the buildings, pool areas, or in boats
    • Pets should never be left alone or unattended at a site, room, cabin, cottage or vehicle. This is a different environment and pets bark for hours when their owner is gone.
    • No CATS or Dogs allowed in the Cottages or Camping Cabins
    This will help ensure that everyone has an enjoyable vacation...including your pet. Families who fail.


    Remember: dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3. Are easier to train
    4. Usually come when called
    5. Never drive your car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

    Anyway, those are mom's pet rules and she thought you might get a chuckle out of this. But mostly, mom wanted me to wish all of you a very special...​
    o comply with the pet rules will be asked to leave the resort.
     
  9. jv08

    jv08 TPF Noob!

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    :lol::lol::lol:
     
  10. Jeff Canes

    Jeff Canes No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    :lmao::lmao:
     

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