Raising BOYS!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by MommyOf4Boys, Mar 16, 2006.

  1. MommyOf4Boys

    MommyOf4Boys TPF Noob!

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    RAISING BOYS

    The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

    Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

    1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
    inches deep.

    2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
    blades, they can ignite.

    3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
    restaurant.

    4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
    enough to rotate 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
    It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on
    all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

    5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
    using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
    before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

    6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
    a ceiling fan.


    7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too
    late.

    8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
    36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

    10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
    boy.

    11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

    12.) Super glue is forever.

    13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
    walk on water.

    14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show
    they do.

    16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

    18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

    19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
    like ovens.

    20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

    21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

    22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

    24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. CHILLER AND SQUIRT - put the bleach and brake fluid down and walk away slowly!

    Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys
    do it because:

    a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
    b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
    c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
    d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
    e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
     
  2. macawlvr

    macawlvr TPF Noob!

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    LOL how true, how true!
     
  3. PlasticSpanner

    PlasticSpanner TPF Noob!

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    Gotto disagree with #8 (again! I think this has been posted before?)

    Brake fluid & Clorox (bleach) doesn't make smoke!

    Several of us tried it! :lol:
     
  4. MommyOf4Boys

    MommyOf4Boys TPF Noob!

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    How did I know? LMAO!!
     
  5. PlasticSpanner

    PlasticSpanner TPF Noob!

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    Damn!

    Just read 24! :blushing:
     
  6. PlasticSpanner

    PlasticSpanner TPF Noob!

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    Can I also add "Vacum cleaner filters do not work for fruit juice"!

    (I now come under group C :( )
     
  7. Dweller

    Dweller Inconspicuous Supporter

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    lol good stuff. Thanks for the post :)
     
  8. Alison

    Alison Swiss Army Friend Supporting Member

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    Group C. Thankyouverymuch.
     
  9. tmpadmin

    tmpadmin TPF Noob!

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    Way too funny! I wonder if I have any break fluid?
    :popcorn:
     
  10. PlasticSpanner

    PlasticSpanner TPF Noob!

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    There's some in the neighbors car!.................................:confused:
     
  11. Rob

    Rob TPF Noob!

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    That's extremely funny. Category A and staying that way!! :)

    Rob
     
  12. anicole

    anicole TPF Noob!

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    "Mommy, do cats always land on their feet?"

    "I suppose so, baby ... why?"

    "Well, I threw Loosie off the porch six times and she landed on her feet every time ... I was just wondering."

    (my son at the age of four ... Loosie our cat is still living and doing well. Oh, and our porch is 8 feet off the ground)

    Later that same summer:

    Mom standing at the sink doing dishes ... hears noise on the porch ...

    muffled: reowr .... reowr ... reowr ... screeeeeecccchhhh

    Mom takes off running through the house to get outside ...

    Son has cat pinned down and is mashing on her belly ...

    "Honey, what are you doing??!?!?!"

    "Loosie needs C-R-P mom ... they do it on er when people stop breathing."

    "I know, baby, but Loosie is still breathing."

    "I thought she died when I threw her off the porch again."


    It's always a treat around our home ... :er: :lol:
     

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