rant/ photographer/ stylist/ makeupartist

[pgriz]

Chris gives good advice. I mentor from time to time, and one aspect of working life that sometimes breeds cynicism is that many that you come in contact with are nowhere near what they represent themselves to be. So the mentoring advice is, figure out what you want and need, and when you meet new (potential) employees/associates/colleagues, keep checking to see whether they are as good as they represent themselves to be, and whether their characters are such that the benefit can be realized. Some will deliberately overstate their abilities, luring you in with false promises. Some have ability, but not the desire to make it work with/for you. Some have good intentions and inflated ideas of their own abilities, and therefore can't deliver on their promises. It takes a lot of patience (and effort) to find the relatively few that are as good as they appear, and have the mental/emotional tools to work collaboratively.

This is true whether one is looking for programmers, or labourers, business partners or life partners, makeup artists or photographers. You have to put the hard effort in at meeting many, and hopefully, you will find the few that have the ability to contribute (and don't forget, some of that is compatibility with you). If a contact doesn't work out, you move on and keep looking. The wider is your net, the better is the chance that you will find the people you want to work with. As Chris has noted, it IS an endless search, because even when you find someone who's compatible and can contribute, over time your and their interests may diverge and you will again be looking.

One of my own faults is that I tend to believe and trust people too much, and that has caused me all kinds of grief over the years. My wife is more pragmatic about these kinds of things, and more than a few times she'd note that so-and-so isn't really contributing in a useful way. I'd deny that, and try to change the situation, and in the end she would still be right. Unfortunately, it's a lesson that I am still learning, and even though I can freely dispense the advice, I don't always apply it to myself.

One of the sources of this hesitation is that I have some insecurity about just how well I know my field (much of it is self-taught), and I tend to defer to those who have the formal credentials. And yet, in the end I usually have a better understanding of the issues we're trying to correct or deal with, than the experts. An example of this is the art of selling. I am not a natural salesperson, and it takes considerable effort on my part to meet with people and engage in the necessary small-talk to establish a level of comfort after which we can start getting down to the business. And yet in the end, the agreements I end up signing are almost always successful, whereas the ones sold by the salesmen often have issues that require a lot of additional work after-the-fact to make right. So it comes back to giving yourself enough credit for what you've already proven you can do, and not giving away for free your skill, knowledge and expertise.

 

[robbins.photo]

Yup, sounds like somebody needs to tell both V and IV that if they can't pull there heads out M & B are going to put them both in the ER, and they'll both wind up on IV's.

Err.. or something like that. Seriously though, best to walk away from this and not look back. If they think the photography portion of this is so easy and are such experts on the subject then they don't need you at all, they can pull out a point and shoot and do whatever they want

I kind of regret that I didn't say to IV: "Well if you know that much about photography why don't you do it yourself"
well... I said it here.. it almost feel the same... almost
.

Not to worry, for some folks direct confrontation just really isn't there cup of tea. But you know we can always talk about her on the internet, which is cathartic. [emoji12]

Sent from my N9518 using Tapatalk

 

[DarkShadow]

Well your a bigger person then me because seeing your work here and on FB that was me I would have said since you know so much about photography shoot the F In stuff your self. I have the patience of a wet mop when it comes to idiots.

 

[mmaria]

Chris gives good advice. I mentor from time to time, and one aspect of working life that sometimes breeds cynicism is that many that you come in contact with are nowhere near what they represent themselves to be. So the mentoring advice is, figure out what you want and need, and when you meet new (potential) employees/associates/colleagues, keep checking to see whether they are as good as they represent themselves to be, and whether their characters are such that the benefit can be realized. Some will deliberately overstate their abilities, luring you in with false promises. Some have ability, but not the desire to make it work with/for you. Some have good intentions and inflated ideas of their own abilities, and therefore can't deliver on their promises. It takes a lot of patience (and effort) to find the relatively few that are as good as they appear, and have the mental/emotional tools to work collaboratively.

This is true whether one is looking for programmers, or labourers, business partners or life partners, makeup artists or photographers. You have to put the hard effort in at meeting many, and hopefully, you will find the few that have the ability to contribute (and don't forget, some of that is compatibility with you). If a contact doesn't work out, you move on and keep looking. The wider is your net, the better is the chance that you will find the people you want to work with. As Chris has noted, it IS an endless search, because even when you find someone who's compatible and can contribute, over time your and their interests may diverge and you will again be looking.

One of my own faults is that I tend to believe and trust people too much, and that has caused me all kinds of grief over the years. My wife is more pragmatic about these kinds of things, and more than a few times she'd note that so-and-so isn't really contributing in a useful way. I'd deny that, and try to change the situation, and in the end she would still be right. Unfortunately, it's a lesson that I am still learning, and even though I can freely dispense the advice, I don't always apply it to myself.

One of the sources of this hesitation is that I have some insecurity about just how well I know my field (much of it is self-taught), and I tend to defer to those who have the formal credentials. And yet, in the end I usually have a better understanding of the issues we're trying to correct or deal with, than the experts. An example of this is the art of selling. I am not a natural salesperson, and it takes considerable effort on my part to meet with people and engage in the necessary small-talk to establish a level of comfort after which we can start getting down to the business. And yet in the end, the agreements I end up signing are almost always successful, whereas the ones sold by the salesmen often have issues that require a lot of additional work after-the-fact to make right. So it comes back to giving yourself enough credit for what you've already proven you can do, and not giving away for free your skill, knowledge and expertise.

This was such a good read Paul and it was what I needed to hear.
I'm not a sales person also, and I really have to believe in something in order to present that to someone in an ok manner. I don't know how to sell. I know some theory but that just isn't who I am.

Among else you said I should figure out what I want and need... I was struggling with that concept because there's a gap between what is in demand and what I want to do. I think I need to clear things in my head. I think that if I know, crystal clear, what I want , I will get there eventually... I am working in that direction lately but there are many things left unresolved in my head and my photography.

I am ready for searching people I'm compatible with, and in personal life I'll say that compatible people are rare to find... I guess I just need to think like that in photography too, so that way I won't feel inadequate if someone won't cooperate with me, but feel ok, because that's the way the world works.

You pointed out some things that are really useful for me.
If I had more time you'd get a better response

Glad you're here Paul

 

[mmaria]

Not to worry, for some folks direct confrontation just really isn't there cup of tea. But you know we can always talk about her on the internet, which is cathartic. [emoji12]

Sent from my N9518 using Tapatalk

yeeeaaaahhh!!!



But I do know how to confront people in person, and it's not nice to see me like that!!! just so you people know that! yup, I'm tough!

 

[mmaria]

Well your a bigger person then me because seeing your work here and on FB that was me I would have said since you know so much about photography shoot the F In stuff your self. I have the patience of a wet mop when it comes to idiots.

oh lol!

well maybe I'll do that next time. I've had it enough!

the reason of my patience was that we were messaging so I could put down the phone and take some time to cool off

 

[table1349]

mmaria, if we knew where Wonderland was it might help. Here we have a cosmetology school. I always have a steady supply of makeup and hair people. If the instructor doesn't have someone currently that she feels can meet my needs she volunteers. It is a great resource without a lot of drama.

Wonderland is Bosnia and Herzegovina. People from tpf can't help in that matter
I'll searched for cosmetology school, find one high school and a private cosmetology college-which I don't want to be my first choice must say (private colleges here don't have good reputation, complex theme really)... I'll search for more... thanks for suggesting me that!

Ahh, now that I know I will keep that in mind. It helps as things like my situation do not exist in your location so it will not help you. Wish you luck in your search.