Relationship stuff

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Verbal, Mar 27, 2006.

  1. Verbal

    Verbal $100

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    Allow me to pose a hypothetical situation to you...

    Say there was a 17 year old guy who works full time, has his own apartment, is almost done with college, etc... and he meets a 22 year old girl, unmarried with a 3 year old daughter, on...I don't know, say, the bus. Let's say the 22 year old girl is really pretty, and the 3 year old daughter is absolutely adorable, and the 17 year old finds himself becoming attracted to the mother. Say he asks the mother if he can take her and her daughter to lunch, as a date, sometime, and she accepts. And say they keep on seeing each other every day on the bus (Even though that bus gets the 17 year old to work really early and he'd like to sleep in an extra 40 minutes), and things are going great, and the 22 year old seems to really like the 17 year old.

    Is that too awfully weird?
     
  2. JonMikal

    JonMikal TPF Noob!

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    only the 17 year old can determine this...no one else.
     
  3. tmpadmin

    tmpadmin TPF Noob!

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    I'm going to sit this one out.
     
  4. bace

    bace TPF Noob!

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    ....if you want an honest opinion pm me. People around here don't seem to appreciate honesty.
     
  5. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    That's where you're wrong. It's not the honesty, but the delivery that isn't always appreciated. Feel free to be honest, just don't be mean about it.


    (I'm not saying that against you in anyway, that's just my advice to ANYONE who feels that we get angry over honesty...because it's just not true, in my opinion)
     
  6. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    honesty and knowing when to state things in a correct way is two different things...



    verb... baby... your so tender hearted, and have such a good soul..and you of all people know your own heart...

    follow your heart... your raising... your judgment...

    your so far ahead of people twice your age...

    trust in yourself.....if it feels ok to you...dont worry about what anyone else says... your faith will lead you....
     
  7. bace

    bace TPF Noob!

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    While I live by the saying that one must jump in headfirst, I also suggest checking to see if the pool has enough water in it too.

    Remember when you're dealing with relationships involving children you must consider the fact that whatever happens between you and the 22yr old will have a lasting affect on the child.

    Having been raised in a broken home myself and seeing both my parents go through many relationships, I'll tell you that it's not the greatest way to grow up. Are you ready to accept that responsibility?

    I'm sure you'll do what you feel is right, just remember to take that little girl into consideration with whatever decisions you make.
     
  8. Corry

    Corry Flirtacious and Bodacious Supporting Member

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    I think that's fantastic advice. And that's something that many don't consider. When you get in a relationship with a single parent, you're getting in a relationship with the child, too.

    I think some people don't really want the child part of it, but think they can make it work anyway. That doesn't usually turn out well.

    On the other hand, I've seen people get together with single parents, and it works out fantasticly...the couple that set me up with my boyfriend are a good example of that. She has a little boy...and he's totally in love with both of them. They're a wonderful family.
     
  9. ShutteredEye

    ShutteredEye TPF Noob!

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    Absolutely no disrespect meant to the 17 y/o at all, b/c it sounds like he has his ducks in a row, etc. However, I must wonder at what the 22 y/o would be thinking if she were to think that this would be a good situation for her to be getting into--esp w/ a 3 y/o.

    Does the 17 y/o think he is ready for the responsibilities of being a parent figure? B/c there is more to it than just thinking they are adorable...

    What does the 17 y/o's family think of the situation? People close to the 17 y/o with his best interest in mind might be the best people to ask these questions....even if the 17 y/o might not like the answer....

    Tell the 17 y/o good luck, and that I hope it works out the best way possible!
     
  10. treehuggerhikerboy

    treehuggerhikerboy TPF Noob!

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    The last 3 posts had really good points. It's not about you anymore, or you and her, it's about you, her, child, and ex...and ex's current.

    Dr. Phil advice...dude, you're 17. Play the field and see what's out there. Kids are great, but they're also very restrictive, especially when they (and you) are so young. Life is short, there is PLENTY 'o time to meet women with kids later on in life. Not to mention the fact that if you break up, you'll have to take another bus for awhile. ;)


    orrrrrrrrrrr....beat the odds and go for it. :greenpbl:
     
  11. hot shot

    hot shot TPF Noob!

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    i have twisted oppions so im staying out altho would like to know the out come
     
  12. LaFoto

    LaFoto Just Corinna in real life Staff Member Supporting Member

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    In the end, the decision is with you, erm.... that hypothetical 17-year-old.
    In general, I must say that if there were no men out there who would want to date a single mother, I'd be all alone in my life now, for my husband had to decide for me AND my first-born son - which he did. :lovey:

    Another thing is: we were 26 and 30 at the time, he being the older.
    That does make quite a bit of a difference.
    When I had my son at 20 years of age, I felt he had arrived quite early in my life, not to say too early.

    17 is still three years younger, and for most 17-year-old males, make that a true 5 years younger (which would not apply to you, erm... that hypothetical 17-year-old you are talking about, I would think from your way of expressing yourself here and your work and all that). But it still is very young for that kind of responsibility. It needs to be thought through with utmost care.

    But when all's been said and done, the decision is still yours, erm, the decision of that hypothetical 17-year-old who goes to work by bus very early every morning...
     

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