relationships.

rhall54 · Dec 7, 2008

Does anyone else feel like no one can be trusted anymore?

My intentions were always good. You fall in love. You want the best for the other person and you want to share your life with them. You care for them and want them to always be happy. And because you feel this way you assume the other person feels the same thing. Especially when they tell you they feel exactly the same. And after two years you'd think you would know a person and be able to have faith in them.

But then one day it just all turns around. You find out everything was a lie. Not one day in the last two years was true. Everyday of the last two years was based on lies and you had no idea. How do you move on? How do you let someone get close to you again? How do you love again?

Is anyone sincere anymore? Is anyone not completely selfish and only out for self gain?

I'm completely lost.

Mitica100 · Dec 7, 2008

While the old adage "Give and don't expect" is true in relationships, it doesn't always work. It's the ideal in any relationship but that's just the key word, "ideal" as in "idealistic".

I don't want to give advice here but it seems that you were totally out for him, while he 'played' you for two years. Men, or certain men to be correct, are like that. The second you appear to be so altruistic and so giving, they stop giving back and then they take you for granted. Some women are like that as well, as I have sadly learned in my past.

With that being said, there is light at the end of the tunnel (and that ain't the train, so to speak). Just wait, hang in there and learn again how to trust the right person. You'll know it...

:hug::

monkeykoder · Dec 7, 2008

All I can say is don't be the one that never trusts again it will make your life cold and dark and boring (take it from me I've been there and am there). Remember there was happiness where you were and there will be happiness in another way again. If there wasn't pain and hurt there would be no happiness or joy. Take solace in the fact that this pain will eventually lead to new happiness if you have the strength to keep searching.

PatrickHMS · Dec 7, 2008

Sorry for whatever happened to you, especially this time of year.

Time heals all wounds, and time also wounds all heels...

Try your best to learn how to pick up the pieces and go on with your life. Is there a photo club around you, or something else that you like to do that can include friends?

I am sure that there is "somebody" out there for you, and so many times you hear of the best relationships beginning when people were not especially "looking for someone" else, but found them anyway.

Maybe those surprises are the best kind.

I know a (now older) couple, where the lady once met a man at a swap meet, and told him "you're coming home with me" and he did. That was 30 years, 3 kids and 6 grandkids ago.

If the photo in your icon is you, you are a real cutie, and userguys will be attracted to that and gravitate towards you. Try to be wary and careful without putting up "walls" that not only keep others out, but will keep you in.

Most guys are jerks (say the girls), but most girls are also jerks (say the guys). Here's hoping that the jerks will find each other most of the time and get what they give, and deserve.

The "right" guy for you will find you beautiful and special no matter what you look like.

I see you are in Georgia. If you ever get to Stone Mountain Park, you might see my wife (of 35 years) and myself, and a little Beagle, out shooting photos.

Stop us and say "hi", we'll buy you lunch or something.

Do you need to take the "I love Edward" out of your signature???

Yemme · Dec 7, 2008

Oh honey

...... You have to strong. Things like this will make you stronger. It's a part of life. You just have to hang on in there and wait for the right one.

And that's coming from a selfish person.

David A · Dec 7, 2008

Time is a compassionate but fair healer. Just give it some time. Trust me.

If you feel like chatting/venting, I'm on AIM a good amount. Screen name is David A Mmmk...promise I'm not a creeper.

monkeykoder · Dec 7, 2008

I promise you'd find me creepy in real life (until you got to know me) but if you do need to chat PM does work.

ferny · Dec 8, 2008

From my experience women look for someone to help them then when they're alright do their best to **** you over.

But that may just be the ones I meet. And they tend to find bastards and then tell me how wonderful I am, how I'm the first guy they've trusted etc. When our relationship ends I'm left thinking "yeah, I can see why you were treated like that after treating me like you did". There's good and bad in both men and women and somehow the bad one seem drawn together.

I'll send you a PM later (if I remember) which will make you chuckle. Bottom line is, whatever happened if it's devastated you then it'll never leave you. The trick is to let things happen naturally and slowly you'll get used to them and the hole that person left will be filled by other things and you'll move on living your life.

I'm personally left wondering if anything ever lasts or if anything is ever real. Is there any point if you know it's going to go badly. But from what I'm told when you find the right person those thoughts go away. To some extent I know this is true.

ferny · Dec 8, 2008

Oh, and don't do anything stupid like I did. I ended up buying a new car to have something to occupy my mind when I couldn't stop thinking of someone and almost did the same thing this weekend. Am I going to be the male equivalent of the mad cat lady? When I'm older I'll have a car for every girl I've fallen for? :mrgreen:

rhall54 · Dec 8, 2008

Mitica100 said:
The second you appear to be so altruistic and so giving, they stop giving back and then they take you for granted.

:hug::

yea.. I did a lot for him. He wasn't getting along with his mom and I let him move in with me. She kicked him off her insurance so I put him on mine. I cosigned on a car for him. Anytime he needed anything I was there for him. I really cared for him and just always wanted him to be comfortable and happy.

Dmitri · Dec 8, 2008

rhall54 said:
yea.. I did a lot for him. He wasn't getting along with his mom and I let him move in with me. She kicked him off her insurance so I put him on mine. I cosigned on a car for him. Anytime he needed anything I was there for him. I really cared for him and just always wanted him to be comfortable and happy.

Have you never seen Judge Judy??

rhall54 · Dec 8, 2008

PatrickHMS said:
I see you are in Georgia. If you ever get to Stone Mountain Park, you might see my wife (of 35 years) and myself, and a little Beagle, out shooting photos.

Stop us and say "hi", we'll buy you lunch or something.

Do you need to take the "I love Edward" out of your signature???

I live in Kennesaw. But some friends of mine have been talking about going there to take pictures

and Edward is a character in a series of books I was reading. haha. I'm a nerd.

rhall54 · Dec 8, 2008

I'm just so exhausted by the whole situation I don't even care about the car. That car is his whole world any way. He'd never miss a payment. That car is what makes him "cool".

And by exhausted, I mean this is the 7th time in the last year he has broken up with me. Usually it ends with name calling and then he comes back after a week with empty promises. It's been two weeks and I just would rather not hear from him again. He scares me. I never know what he's going to say to me.

monkeykoder · Dec 8, 2008

rhall54 said:
... I'm a nerd.

Don't be trying to be sexy BE SEXY post a picture PROVING you're that sexy(nerdy) a bag of dice and some D&D books would be sufficient (but you might have to include a scan of a character sheet) Possibly pictures of you at a renaissance fair or with a book on quantum physics or math. Just don't put on your glasses (if you have any) we don't need porn on here.