saying the right thing...

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by captain-spanky, Apr 28, 2004.

  1. captain-spanky

    captain-spanky TPF Noob!

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    Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

    He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

    So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

    Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

    His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

    Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

    His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, 'Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!'"
    :lol: :lol: :lol: 8)
     
  2. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    I really, really like that joke. :D
     
  3. manda

    manda instigator of pottymouthedness

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    im stalking you mark, have you noticed?
     
  4. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    Woo! An upgrade to stalking groupie!

    *sniff*

    I feel all special.


    Now get out of my bushes, please.
     
  5. manda

    manda instigator of pottymouthedness

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    lol
    what are we upgrading from?

    im not the one with the camera looking at stuffed toys
     
  6. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    Entry-level groupie, I believe. The stalker groupie has better bennies, but longer hours.

    No, you're right. The one you are looking at is my cat.
     
  7. manda

    manda instigator of pottymouthedness

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    How did this change buster?!
    What on earth is a bennie?

    Apologies for being such a thread hijacker, spankypants.
     
  8. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    Well, you said you would be my first groupie, and then you said you were a stalker. If you pool them together you get full-time status rather than two part-times.

    Hehe. Benefits. There's a great health plan, paid vacation, and constant exposure to my wit and charm. Not to mention free psychiatric care (which is usually mandatory after any length of time).

    What she said.
     
  9. manda

    manda instigator of pottymouthedness

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    you know groupie stalker is another name for psychopath.

    but i thought u were peeping marking me.

    Constant exposure to your wit and charm...throw in some photography lessons and the kitchen is yours. :p
     
  10. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    So we're both psychos. Sounds like a match! :crazy:
    Get some sleep now, girl. I'll start boxing myself up for Fed-Ex to pick up.
     
  11. manda

    manda instigator of pottymouthedness

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    Damn, I think MD better look out.
    Bring some chocolate sauce. :greenpbl:
     
  12. Osmer_Toby

    Osmer_Toby TPF Noob!

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    wow. someone really took our "how to get to sleep" advice to heart.

    yo mark, bring a can of whipped cream with you, too. and maybe a cherry. :mrgreen:
     

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