These are actual school absences (supposedly) from parents, including the spelling: *My son is under a doctor's care today and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. *Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. *Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. *Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. *Please excuse Roland frrom P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. *John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. *Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. *Megan could not come to school today because she has been botheres by very close veins. *Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side. *Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. *Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. *Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. *Please excuse Jim for being. It was his father's fault. *I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. *Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. *Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. *My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. *Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. *Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. *Please excuse brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor. *Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best, either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.