A comment that the semi-literate Hertz van Mental made in another thread concerning Sir isaac Newton (http://www.thephotoforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26860) got me thinking about that gentleman and the association we had earlier in my life. It is not common knowledge, but Sir Isaac and I were good friends, even though he went to great lengths to expunge all reference to me from his life. Why should the great man wish to supress the fact of our friendship, I hear you ask (and if I don't hear you ask it then you have either fallen asleep already or are not reading this in the first place). Quite simply, it was because most of his great 'discoveries' were as a direct result of my intervention. This was not something he wanted people to know, for obvious reasons, not least of which was all the free dinners he got on the strength of his genius. If people discovered that he was actually a clod then he would have to start paying his way. I well remember one balmy Autumn afternoon. We were taking our ease in his garden, smoking a pipe and discussing which of the local barmaids had the biggest twin-choke Webbers when something untoward struck me. It was an apple. It had become detatched from the tree under which we sat and descended on to the top of my head. I ejaculated in suprise and rolled around clutching my head, for it was a rather large and firm apple and had caused considerable pain. Newton, who took pleasure in other's discomfiture, found the situation and my antics amusing and laughed considerably. The pain of the event had diminished somewhat but sight of Sir Isaac's amusement at my misfortune made me somewhat cross. "I fail to see what is so funny about my being injured by a wayward piece of your fruit," I said, crossly. "A man of your reputation and years would be better advised to treat the matter with more gravity." "I suppose you are right," he replied. Only later did I find that he took me at my word - and took all the credit. I might later relate the incidents surrounding his Three Laws of Motion. In the original draft he had the Third Law as being 'action and inaction are equal and apposite.' I never got any recognition for my input there, either.