Smoking Kills

[deputydan]

Did this as a photo illustration for one of my classes.

 

[mysteryscribe]

Well the lines are strong and it is very sharp. I suppose you are not a smoker. I am a reformed one. The reason I mention this a lit cigarette with smoke rising would seem to me to be more effective. Since the casing are empty even a cigarette butt would have seemed more appropriate. Just a thought.

 

[deputydan]

Yes, I thought that it being lit would have added to the picture more as well. But I didn't really want to deal with the smoke alarm going off in the dorms And there's the fact that cigarette smoke makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[mysteryscribe]

Yeah it did my dad after he quit. I actually loved the smell after I quit for a while. Now in a confined area it would make me ill as well. Get one of your firends to save you a crushed butt. Would probably do as well if you could make it stand up like the do sometimes.

My very first still live was an ashtray, lit cigaretter, empty bear glass with rings on the table, and a pile of spilled popcorn. Way the hell too busy but I thought it was so cool.

 

[THORHAMMER]

what about a hollowed out cig and the insides were filling up the bullet ?

anyways its a cool shot, basic , you can add things to it if you shoot it again, but it does work as it is...

 

[tataencu]

THORHAMMER has a wonderful idea... maybe you should try doing that...i would but I don't have the bullets

Edit:
I just remembered about a shot I took a while ago and which was named "Fumar mata" ("Smoking kills" in Portuguese).
It approaches the problem from a slightly different angle, sending the message through the highly contrasting eerie look and grain.
Here it is:

 

[Don Simon]

Nice work. Very timely since here in the UK the police will soon be able to shoot you for smoking.

 

[DeadEye]

My first cig shot. C&C please.

 

[eravedesigns]

My first cig shot. C&C please.

Whaaa make your own thread

 

[glaston]

You could add the smoke and embers in Photoshop. Then the smoke alarms wont go off and you wont get sick.
Smoke alarms don't usually go off that easily. If you're standing underneath it then yeah. But if it's a little way from the alarm, and you have ventilation then it shouldn't go off. Especially if the whole thing isn't being smoked and exhaled.

However, you often have to suffer through things that you would rather not in order to get the shots you need to make your work what you need it to be.

Look at fashion models, they often go through hell to get the shots right.

IMO, having to suffer or experience something during the process of your art makes the work that much more personal to you.
Makes you care about it more, and makes you want to get it just right because it reflects YOU.
You don't seem to have that connection with this project. If you did, you wouldn't be satisfied with this.

As it stands, you set a couple 9mm Luger shells up, threw in a cigarette and snapped the shot.
The aesthetic value is there as the colors look good and the contrast is decent, but there's really no message coming through.

It looks more like stock photography.
There's also no real composition going on in the image, which adds to the stock photo appearance.
If you put the burning cigarette laying flat coming out of the right bottom corner, leading to the shell casings, that will give you a little composition.
However you do it, you want to guide the viewers eye toward the focal point of the image, ie..the burning cig pointing toward the shell casings.

If it were me, I'd smoke some of that cig and get the ash real long, then prep the shot right so that there's alot of smoke lingering in the air.

I hope you don't take offense to me pointing these issues out. I'm just trying to give some constructive criticism which is very important to developing your skill in any artistic endeavor.
Don't get defensive, because you'll get alot of critique over the years should you choose this as a career.

 

[xfloggingkylex]

open a window and shoot near it. great idea though.

 

[StreetShark]

Very nice! I love the whole idea of it and even though with the ideas presented here it could be improved it's still a nice shot.

 

[deputydan]

I would much rather have honest, harsh C&C than someone always telling me that my shots are pure genius and all that rubbish. Points taken, I might try this shot again some other time with what you suggested. As far as the smoke alarms go, I don't want to take the chance of setting them off in the dorms only because the whole fire department will show up and I'll get the blame. If it was in my own house, then sure, I would go ahead and light the sucker just for that great shot. Thanks for the honest opinions. I came from a previous forum where people were blunt and would tell you if you're shot sucked, unfortunately the mods thought we were a little rough and shut our little clique down. It's nothing more than another POTN now

 

[Nikon Norm]

You are on the right lines with your shot, my only comments are, the cigarette has to look perfect with no creases, like any product photography. Or if the perfect look is not what your going for then the product has to be "destroyed" more.

I like the idea from mysteryscribe for the cigarette butt and shell casings.

You get some neat ideas to illustrate from your classes, nice to see them.

 

[deputydan]

Thanks.