So heres my life...

[MDowdey]

well, i have no one to talk to here at home so here goes...


Im stuck. Im floundering in outerspace waiting for something or someone to save me. Have you ever felt like the big answer was right around the door, but still just out of reach. I want to make an impact on someone or something. Its like the matrix. I feel like elevating myself to a higher plane of thought or something, its hard to explain.

so my question is, "where do we go from here", and most importantly, "how will this all end?"

discuss, and be gentlle,. please.

md

 

[carlita]

will is always really good at this stuff. i, however, am not. :-? :-(

 

[MDowdey]

who is will, and how much does he charge?






md

 

[mrsid99]

will is always really good at this stuff. i, however, am not. :-? :-(

Is that the Will they always fire at?

All joking aside, you probably already know the answer to your question.
It may be trite but be honest with yourself, think it through very carefully for at least a week then go for it!

Best of luck old chap!

 

[Dew]

thats funny u should mention that, my best buddy just arrived in town today ... we were engaged in a deep conversation about a very political topic (i prefer not to mention it ) ... but i remember my quote to her was, "its like we're in the matrix and everyone else is clueless... sleepers."

but i know what you mean .. the hubby and i bounce off each other .. he likes our "box" ... but i feel "boxed in" :?


the "box" is your daily grind and life around you ... the repetitive cycle of your inner circle

 

[Not Neve]

I'm in a pondering mood these days so I know what you mean. I think it's something about the new year and making new plans that makes us think about where we are in our lives and what we are doing.

Just today I had a conversation with a friend about our jobs. We are both lower management (supervisors not really going anywhere). Neither one of us wants to play office politics so we're sort of spinning our wheels. In all of the years I've worked and supported myself (and still am) I never really figured out what I really wanted to do.

I'm content (not overjoyed, but content) with my work life but want something more in my personal life. MD, I know I haven't answered your questions; just know you aren't alone in your thoughts.

 

[motcon]

i do believe that i may be the aforementioned 'Will'. if not, then read not a 11010001 beyond this.

well, i have no one to talk to here at home so here goes...


so my question is, "where do we go from here"
md

an unsettling feeling; i know. an unsettling feeling as most do/will know. an unsettling feeling that has the floral scent of emergence. the landscape in dreams. the tactile of the wanted.

it's you. it's you seeking an outlet. is it photography? try it. is it working for a non-profit organization? try it. is it a new pair of shoes? try it.

so i haven't directly answered your query , but yet i have. no one will save you, my friend. not because folks don't want to do so, but because they are busy wondering the same......

so.

i go back to an aforementioned reference: find YOURSELF, then you will find people that won't save you, but will support you. a fine line there; i know. it's a balancing act. support is infinitely more valuable than any type of salvation (in the general definition).

explore yourself.

don't tell me you have.

explore yourself.

you then will invariably find folks that may say.... :

- i don't understand you
- i don't totally agree with you
- i do accept you
- i love you for the person that you've become

Have you ever felt like the big answer was right around the door, but still just out of reach. I want to make an impact on someone or something.
md

the big answer will forever be out of reach. the purpose is to get as close to it as possible....

there are few 'bangs' in life that are everlasting.

revel in the small joys.


making an impact requires that you know yourself fairly well. think about it - how can you make a positive impact if you yet do not know how you can do it?

introspection

believe this: you are worthless to anyone unless you are of defined worth to yourself.

 

[Dew]

well said Will .. very inspiring


we talk about that quite often (perhaps to much time on our hands) .. but it usually goes something like this ....

"hun.. we wait all of our lives to be where we are now ... we're in our 30's, happily married, (havent started a family yet, but that's something else) you have your own business ... what else? ... is this it? ... is that all to it? .... where do we go from here? ... is this what life's all about? .... <ranting>the older a person gets, the tighter their circle becomes ... its like, "they" retreat from life, from living ... they get settled into their little box... people go to work, come home .. kiss their spouse have dinner (fill in the blanks) ... go to sleep and get up the next day to start all over again ... this is what we look forward to ... our box-filled lives"</end rant>

now, usually its me that starts analizing everything ... most of the things i say are very cut and dry (for dramatic effect ) .. but in "real-life" ... i'm waiting to see what life is all about ... i hope there's more too it :roll: ... but i definatly feel ya .... i cant wait to have kids so we can live vicariously through their everychanging lives ... then they grow up to start their own box :no smile:

so to break the cycle .. i told the hubby lets sell everything we own, travel across country and live in a van ... he doesnt think its a good idea :? .. "we need to be reponsible" he says :lmao:

 

[carlita]

i do believe that i may be the aforementioned 'Will'.

you are correct, my good man. :sillysmi:

 

[doxx]

establish short-term and long-term goals. It works like this: In two weeks I'm going to do/buy/achieve whatever... In 12 months I want to do/buy/achieve...
It can be simple things that satisfy you.
Be realistic with your goals - don't over-estimate yourself and satisfaction is guaranteed.

 

[Darfion]

Sorry MD i don't have the answers you're looking for but i'm sure you'll figure something out soon. Your answer may come from a very unlikely source without you actually looking for it. Think positive and positive things will happen.
Good luck.

 

[MDowdey]

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that responded so far, im learning alot about myself as I go through this journey of self discovery. my main "thing" is that im learning some inevitable things about life and other people:

1)Everyone has their own agenda. if my plan doesnt fit their agenda....its a done deal.

2)Im not special, unique, a "one of a kind". Im the same as everyone else. LOST. Lost until the 11th percent of their brain kicks in and they grown anothe pair of chromosomes and realize that we were meant for something higher than this.

3)im lonely. I have no one to share my dreams, passions, life, desires, lust with. This only enables me to go further into my hole.

Im trying to be so positive, but I do realize im searching for something. I need goals, aspirations, and desires. I believe the photography and the art is the way, i just need to explore it more. throw my whole body into it.

this has been a great discussion. i love all yall mofo's.

md

 

[Dew]

i hope u find that special someone to share your life with .. perhaps you can join an online dating service ... that's how i met my hubby ... give it a try

without photography i wouldnt have much going on in my life ... i need it to survive ... but we're here for ya ... i consider you a friend ... i care about ya .. im sure many people here feel the same ... im glad that you're reaching out to us :hug:

 

[voodoocat]

I will leave you some quotes from one of my favorite books. Illusions by Richard Bach. These proverbs should sound somewhat familiar if you have read other philosophical texts such as I Ching, the Bible, etc...

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true.
You may have to work for it, however.

There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.
You seek problems because you need their gifts.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours.

Learning is finding out what you already know.
Doing is demonstrating that you know it.
Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you.

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.


And the intro to the book starts with this parable:

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river.

The current of the river swept silently over them all - young and old, rich and poor, good and evil, the current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self.

Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks at the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth.

But one creature said at last, 'I am tired of clinging. Though I cannot see it with my eyes, I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom.'

The other creatures laughed and said, 'Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you shall die quicker than boredom!'

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more. And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, 'See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!'

And the one carried in the current said, 'I am no more Messiah than you. The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.'

But they cried the more, 'Saviour!' all the while clinging to the rocks, and when they looked again he was gone, and they were left alone making legends of a Saviour.

 

[terri]

Im stuck. Im floundering in outerspace waiting for something or someone to save me. Have you ever felt like the big answer was right around the door, but still just out of reach. I want to make an impact on someone or something. Its like the matrix. I feel like elevating myself to a higher plane of thought or something, its hard to explain.

Matt: I hope you get how, just by asking these questions and thinking these thoughts, you're on the right track to gaining that higher plane. You know? But we all have to make our own way. Your first couple of sentences remind me of the old Pink Floyd song: "Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day/fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way/Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown/Waiting for someone or something to show you the way".

All I can really offer you is this reassurance: YOU are the answer to your questions. Just you, just Matt. No one really needs to save you, honey; you'll save yourself. You'll make an impact on yourself, just by thinking and growing and learning - and when you do, things gradually make more sense. I think it's the whole "inner peace" thing. I don't recall ever having a moment where I had "the big answer"; it's more being able to recognize the smaller moments and feel good about the sum of them. Maybe you don't have that peace right now and aside from feeling lonely, you're restless - but I'm betting part of that restlessness is because you're still so young. I bet you hate that comment, huh? Just give it time and don't be too hard on yourself while sorting things out.

What to do next? Anything you like. Play your guitar. Take some photos. Write some more here, or in a journal. Look in the mirror and like what you see. Go ahead and take the time for all this introspection; it's a good thing, though it can make you feel kind of crazy and clueless while you're living through it.

Sorry this is so long and rambling, but one more thing...you might not be *unique* in that you're not the only person who has felt this way - but there IS only one Matt D. Of course you're special, and unique. Make that your starting point. hugs to ya!! :hug: