So heres my life...

[MDowdey]

i think by far that was the best part of the movie, because it perpetuated a feeling of desperation and not violence like everybody presumes.

how about:

"With Enough Soap, One could blow up just about anything"

or:

"Is that your blood on your shirt?"
"Some of it."

or:

"If our Father's were our rolemodels for god, what does that tell you about god?"

i could go on..

md

 

[manda]

Matthew..
I was away when this thread was going on so I hope you dont mind me throwing in a bit at this late hour.
Firstly, from what I know of you, you are a passionate, caring, sweet, smart and charismatic guy with a big heart. I know that someone like you, if he wants it, will find his way and find a way to be content. Its about choosing how your life will play out.

Its far easier to let your life be what it is and whine about it not being what you want it to be, than making decisions and choices to get it the way you want it. I am a big culprit of this in my own life.
Its very easy to take the unhappy route sometimes I think. I wonder about things in my life, if they could have completely gone a different path if someone I loved had made different choices about his life.
Thats another story however.

I feel the things you may want always appear as an overall thing and take on this big cloud above your head. When you have none of them, its overwhelming and seems as though nothing will ever come into place.
I think you have to take it one little hurdle at a time. Get ONE thing you want to happen, happening. Only you can do it.
Look at how you can make the thing you want to happen and attack it. Its not going to come to you just because you want it to.

Once one thing is in place, you can look at others.
Continue your soul searching and go back and look at the things you HAVE accomplished.
Focus on the good things, not the bad. The bad make you who you are and make you a better person. Use them to help you get the good things.

Bad things happen for a reason babe. It doesnt mean you are doomed for life. Ive told you that before.

Also, you could be starting a quarter life crisis. I had one and in fact I think Im still going through it. There are books and an Oprah special, so it must be real. :mrgreen:

You know I am there to chat to anytime you want. :hug:

 

[MDowdey]

First off I want to tell you how much I appreciate all your kind words. Secondly i want to tell you how much Im in love with you. LOL.

seriously, Over the past 2 years, I have felt so out of place. I feel like what i wear in the morning is not me, what i do is not me. I sometimes get the feeling that im living in someone elses shoe's. If you know my history, then that might make a little more sense. I need to take a first step towards doing something. anything. I feel like everytime i move its another step towards spiraling out of control.


md

 

[manda]

Yes I understand that and sometimes I feel exactly like that myself.
Look at what will stop you spiralling out of control. What do u feel when youre in that place? whatever it is that makes you feel that way, try and look at changing how you react to that.
Or find something that you do everytime you feel that way.
Like playing a Happy song, or taking a walk or writing down your thoughts even if they dont make sense.

Or all we girls here could take a pic of ourselves pulling a reaaaaaaaallly silly face and make them into a webpage for you to open every time u need a pick up lol :LOL:
Or you could just think to yourself "at least im not chase". That always gets me through the hard days.

*legs it before bossman demotes me to toilet scrubber*

 

[MDowdey]

jesus, a website with all the TPF girls? i wouldnt sleep at night.



ive gotta find a way out of this rut. Something has got to change.


md

 

[BigRC]

Hi Matt. I'm fairly new to the forum, but I just want you to know that you are definitely not alone in the way that you feel. At times everyone feels that way. Believe it or not, your subconsious plays a bigger role in your daily life than you would think. I constantly battle with myself, and have gotten use to the fact that it's a never ending struggle. The thing to do (easier said than done) is to focus on the positives. Make yourself, however you have to. Do it until it becomes a habit, not a chore, then it's no big deal. Tell yourself how you want to feel, and make yourself feel that way. Don't let you get yourself down. I am my own worst enemy, but also my best friend. Believe in yourself and your abilities. The fact that you have the brainpower to question these things should tell you that you are already on the path to self discovery. Imagine how many people go through life without ever questioning anything. Just accepting everything as face value, never asking why... Simple minds for simple people. I believe that in the human race there are different breeds, kind of like different breeds of dogs and whatnot. Some of us have the ability and brainpower at birth to think "out of the box" while others learn that ability from friends or family. Just remember that life is a game, and it's all in how you play. What goes around comes around, and good things happen to people that do good things.

I've went through more changes in the last year, than I've went through in the previous 5. And a lot of things I learned in psych class 5 years ago are starting to make sense. This last year has been a year of self discovery for me, and this next year is going to be the best year of my life yet. Why? Because I said so.

 

[MDowdey]

whats up big poppa!!

I completely agree with everything you said. I Think my problems lie very deep within my mind. I want to break the mold and go out of the box big time!!! Ive just got to find my way out. I was reading in my photography mag about these four people who quit their jobs and became professional photographers. But who in the real world can do that? people with money, thats who. F that all to hell. Id rather have earned my niche as a photographer instead of being a media tycoon and then waking up one morning and saying "i think im going to be a photographer today!"

On a side note...I cleaned my room this morning, big time. It made me feel 50 % better, is something wrong with me that I feel better when my hands are washed 5 times and my room is spotless?


md

 

[terri]

On a side note...I cleaned my room this morning, big time. It made me feel 50 % better, is something wrong with me that I feel better when my hands are washed 5 times and my room is spotless?

Nothing's wrong with that, my sweet...you just did something, granted on a small scale, that was positive and had a nice outcome. And now you can enjoy the benefits of your effort.

Little steps still get you there, baby!

 

[MDowdey]

man, i love terri and manda and all you girls.


yall needed to be around my neck of the woods when the S*%t got really tough.

many thanks, im forever in debt to your advice.

md