Strangers are easy.

Stradawhovious

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Well I recently had a surgical procedure that has put me on crutches for about a month. I make due just fine, but I'm awkward enough to be able to tell I don't live my life on them. This gives prefect strangers a large enough window into my life that they feel it necessary to climb through and make themselves at home.

"Oh no... What happened?" A stranger will pry...

So far these are my favorite answers... Keep in mind I'm very obviously not an athletic or physically strong individual...

"It was a Basejumping incident in Belize."

"Running with the bulls. I got the business end of the pokey parts."

"I was saving a puppy from a burning building, and a smoldering beam fell on my leg."

"Fell skiing Rambo at Crested Butte. I'm lucky to be alive. My friend wasn't so lucky." [takes off hat, slowly wrings it in hands while looking at the floor]

"I'm a linebacker for the Jets. Occupational Hazard."

"Square dancing accident"

"When they say don't feed the animals... DON'T FEED THE F***ING ANIMALS"

"Wha? Where did these crutches come from?!?!?"

"I was robbing my neighbor and tripped on their ottoman. I sued them for $1.5mil"

"Cirque du Soliel makes for a short career."

"You should se the other guy... no... really. Find him. And get my wallet back."

And my personal favorite...

"Fell and hurt myself while MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS."

The looks after that one are priceless.
 
Can you cry at will? Because that could be fun.


Oh, I can. And do. The responses are nothing if they don't have the theatrics to match.

Well, not cry per se... my eyes water at a comical rate about 20 seconds after I yawn, and I can force myself to yawn. If timed right...
 
Tell them you're auditioning for a stage play where you need to be a person on crutches. Or that you're learning to dance ()
 
Just watch out, when I was on crutches someone asked if they could pray for me, when I said "Sure" not wanting to be rude, she dropped everything in the middle of Costco and did it right then and there, LOUDLY.

Good luck with the rest of your recovery.
 
Consider a few more options:

"Nothing 'happened.' I just woke up one morning and had these crutches stuffed up into my armpits. Doctor says it's SCT: spontaneous crutch transmogrification."

"One more word, and you may just find out what happened to the OTHER guy."

:biglaugh:

I would NOT ask. Not unless I actually KNEW you. I'd wonder, and I'd make up plenty of stories in my head about it. But I wouldn't actually ask.
 

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