The Coffee House

[jcdeboever]

Well, I guess I screwed up again.... not sure how to avoid that situation. I am not a jealous person in regards to my wife, is that bad? If my wife wants to stray, just don't let me find out is how I look at it. I take good care of her, she has a maid, a new car, a nice home close to HER family, no debt, and I try daily to do my homework but she cuts that off, I am like Raymond Barone.

Well the wife obviously has an issue here, so best bet is just to avoid this skank landscaper entirely. Take the wife out to a nice dinner or do something nice for her that she'll enjoy. If she brings it up again - apologize, just tell her you didn't mean to upset her but obviously you did and your sorry. She got the vibe that you were interested and that the landscaper was interested, that's why she reacted the way she did - doesn't matter if any of it was true.

On the upside it also means she still cares, so there is that.

I never voided her. Why do I apologize? She gave me flowers to my surprise! I am not sorry for anything I had no control over. If anything, she owes me an apology for acting like a stupid grade school girl and embarrassing me. Her actions constituted mistrust in me. She was really mad at the skank, I get that but to put it on me is her deal, not mine. She can go file for all I care, I will not accept being treated with mistrust as I am a loyal, ethical husband. This is something to do with menopause I think. F*** I don't know anymore, all I know is that I work hard at being a great man to my wife and it goes unnoticed.

 

[tirediron]

I never voided her. Why do I apologize? She gave me flowers to my surprise! I am not sorry for anything I had no control over. If anything, she owes me an apology for acting like a stupid grade school girl and embarrassing me. Her actions constituted mistrust in me. She was really mad at the skank, I get that but to put it on me is her deal, not mine. She can go file for all I care, I will not accept being treated with mistrust as I am a loyal, ethical husband. This is something to do with menopause I think. F*** I don't know anymore, all I know is that I work hard at being a great man to my wife and it goes unnoticed.

You don't get the whole marriage thing, do you?

 

[robbins.photo]

I never voided her. Why do I apologize?

Because it's a lot easier than divorce court.

She gave me flowers to my surprise! I am not sorry for anything I had no control over. If anything, she owes me an apology for acting like a stupid grade school girl and embarrassing me. Her actions constituted mistrust in me. She was really mad at the skank, I get that but to put it on me is her deal, not mine. She can go file for all I care, I will not accept being treated with mistrust as I am a loyal, ethical husband. This is something to do with menopause I think. F*** I don't know anymore, all I know is that I work hard at being a great man to my wife and it goes unnoticed.

Well not to go all Dr. Phil on you or anything, but your choices here are you can be right or you can be happy. I suggest you choose happy. YMMV.

 

[jcdeboever]

I never voided her. Why do I apologize? She gave me flowers to my surprise! I am not sorry for anything I had no control over. If anything, she owes me an apology for acting like a stupid grade school girl and embarrassing me. Her actions constituted mistrust in me. She was really mad at the skank, I get that but to put it on me is her deal, not mine. She can go file for all I care, I will not accept being treated with mistrust as I am a loyal, ethical husband. This is something to do with menopause I think. F*** I don't know anymore, all I know is that I work hard at being a great man to my wife and it goes unnoticed.

You don't get the whole marriage thing, do you?

Yes I do, I was venting. It's her way and my self canoodling way forward. Just shoot me now.

I should have handled the situation... woman, you can't be coming over here giving me flowers and ****. what the hell are you thinking of skank? my wife will beat you down like the condition of the trailer you live in. Now, go away and tend to them there greens.

 

[jcdeboever]

I never voided her. Why do I apologize?

Because it's a lot easier than divorce court.

She gave me flowers to my surprise! I am not sorry for anything I had no control over. If anything, she owes me an apology for acting like a stupid grade school girl and embarrassing me. Her actions constituted mistrust in me. She was really mad at the skank, I get that but to put it on me is her deal, not mine. She can go file for all I care, I will not accept being treated with mistrust as I am a loyal, ethical husband. This is something to do with menopause I think. F*** I don't know anymore, all I know is that I work hard at being a great man to my wife and it goes unnoticed.

Well not to go all Dr. Phil on you or anything, but your choices here are you can be right or you can be happy. I suggest you choose happy. YMMV.

Oh, shut up (respectfully). I don't want to here it. Dr. Phil and society are idiots. I am a self made man with integrity and honor. Dr. Phil is what my wife watches and whats wrong with the world system.

 

[tirediron]

Oh, shut up (respectfully). I don't want to here it. Dr. Phil and society are idiots. I am a self made man with integrity and honor. Dr. Phil is what my wife watches and whats wrong with the world system.

I don't think anyone will disagree with you, BUT... it's probably cheaper to just live with it. Integrity can be very, very expensive.

 

[robbins.photo]

Oh, shut up (respectfully). I don't want to here it. Dr. Phil and society are idiots. I am a self made man with integrity and honor. Dr. Phil is what my wife watches and whats wrong with the world system.

Well speaking as someone that went through a divorce, I don't recommend it. As for the rest, whatever floats your boat I guess. Not my life, not my decision. Gave the best advice I could based on the information in front of me. You can work the rest out with the wife. I'm out.

 

[jcdeboever]

Oh, shut up (respectfully). I don't want to here it. Dr. Phil and society are idiots. I am a self made man with integrity and honor. Dr. Phil is what my wife watches and whats wrong with the world system.

I don't think anyone will disagree with you, BUT... it's probably cheaper to just live with it. Integrity can be very, very expensive.

True.

 

[table1349]

 

[Gary A.]

It needs to be a two-way street ... mutual respect. There are two sides on every coin ... But just hearing from one side ... Gary doesn't see any respect on the other side. The wife seems to have issues ... She seems to be acting out her issues on circumstances which do not merit her level of acting out. The wife seems very unhappy. If you are, as you self proclaim, honorable, and there isn't any evidence to say otherwise ... then the first person who deserves an apology is the landscaper.

You need to ask the wife, "What's REALY eating at you...?".

Timing on that question is most likely critical.

 

[table1349]

With all due respects Gary, I must disagree that there are two sides to everything. In my experience I have learned that with humans, whether intentional or not, there are three sides to everything. His side, her side, and the truth somewhere in between. The hardest side to get to is always the truth.

 

[jcdeboever]

I just happened to be in the yard picking up dog poop. I do not know the lady, nor her name for that matter but my wife grew up with her. I know no one in this area, my wife is from this area. I am sure she has good reason to not like this lady but what irked me is she thinks I had some kind of run in with her, like I did something to invite her over. I did not. I live on the golf course...

To be honest though, the lady wants my artistic sausage.

 

[jcdeboever]

With all due respects Gary, I must disagree that there are two sides to everything. In my experience I have learned that with humans, whether intentional or not, there are three sides to everything. His side, her side, and the truth somewhere in between. The hardest side to get to is always the truth.

My side=like to take pics of flowers, aloof.

Wife's side= insecure, skank must have boinked a former boyfriend

Skank side= wants the artistic sausage.

 

[Gary A.]

That was a point Gary had thought about, but didn't include, was that the wife had a personal grudge/run-in/experience with the landscaper. That, the wife should share/explain to you so that you would have a better understanding of her reaction. Again, mutual respect.

The artistic sausage is, most likely, the bone of contention.

 

[minicoop1985]

Ooooookie dokie.

Looks like I've been hired for the emergency wedding after all. No artistic sausage or bones of contention here lol