**thoughts for 2006

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by aprilraven, Jan 16, 2006.

  1. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    if you didnt have any already....i loved these, and thought you might laugh at one or two....9..6..and 5 made me bust out....but i'm easy..



    THOUGHTS FOR 2006



    Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.



    Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at
    which one can die.



    Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see
    him without an erection, make him a sandwich.



    Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
    teach a person to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.



    Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for
    anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble
    down the stairs.



    Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying
    in hospitals dying of nothing.



    Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It
    pays no attention to criticism.



    Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
    dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?



    Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world
    weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



    AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:



    We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located
    among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got
    a
    clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are
    located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
    immigration.
     
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  2. Verbal

    Verbal $100

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    Ahahaha! :biglaugh: those are freakin' awesome! I like the health nut one :biggrin:
     
  3. duncanp

    duncanp TPF Noob!

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    i like it :thumbup:
     
  4. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    thanks guys, i liked them too..thought they were pretty funny....

    gotta dig the sandwhich one....
     
  5. JTHphoto

    JTHphoto TPF Noob!

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    these are funny, that one could be reversed too, "if you see a man without a sandwich..."
     
  6. Calliope

    Calliope TPF Noob!

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    Those are hilarious... :mrgreen:
     
  7. markc

    markc TPF Noob!

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    One I like from Terry Pratchett...

    Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
     
  8. Alexandra

    Alexandra TPF Noob!

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    :lmao:
    these are soooo incredible smart! thanks Raven!!!
     
  9. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    So a woman only needs two skills - cooking and f*cking. If you want a husband, girls, learn to do both at the same time.
     
  10. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    now i will have to start looking at mens hands.......:er:
     
  11. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    That'll make a nice change for you :mrgreen:
     
  12. aprilraven

    aprilraven TPF Noob!

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    watch it hertz....

    how do you know where i look??? i may usually go for the eyes...

    or the feet... you know what they say about men and big feet...




    ( they wear big shoes....!!) where is your mind going??
     

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