'unsavoury'

Discussion in 'Critique Forum Archives' started by 'Daniel', Oct 3, 2005.

  1. 'Daniel'

    'Daniel' TPF Noob!

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    I'd appreciate some critique on lighting, composition and the general feeling it gives you. How you interpret it etc.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Marctwo

    Marctwo TPF Noob!

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    I think the basic comp is great. If I'd shot it myself I'd have got a couple with the teddy as the focal point just to see if it worked.

    I don't think the 'set-up' really rings true, though. I'd like to see a dirty brown, scorched, bent spoon and a used needle rather than a note and a spoon that looks like you just got it out of the kitchen draw. ;)
     
  3. 'Daniel'

    'Daniel' TPF Noob!

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    Awww shucks, how did you know I wasn't a crackhead ;)
     
  4. DramaDork626

    DramaDork626 TPF Noob!

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    Not that I have ever done crack, but does crack have lumps like that? It kinda looks like flour.
    I don't like the lamp. It doesn't look right out of focus. It kind of bothers my eyes. Maybe a different form of ligthing would be better.
    I;d say change lighting and...ah hell why not, try it in black and white.
     
  5. bantor

    bantor TPF Noob!

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    Another thing about the set up is in my opinion there is to much crack sitting on the table. I mean there is alot of drugs there, but i really like to composition.
     
  6. 'Daniel'

    'Daniel' TPF Noob!

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    Hmm. I suppose in a way i had to exaggerate the amount of drugs because less didn't look as good. With the comment about the light, what you say is valid but bear in mind i didn't want glamourous lighting, I wanted to try and make it as realistic as possible.
     
  7. Pax

    Pax TPF Noob!

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    I, too, think that it rather looks like flour than crack. Dextrose powder works better to fake crack. Also there's too much of it, in my opinion.

    Regarding the composition: I think the light is too bright. Crack is associated to secrecy and gloominess to me. The bright light makes it seem like somthing someone would just regularly do on his bedside table, like reading a book. It takes the impession of illegality away, which I'd expect in a picture like this.

    The teddybear, to me, weakens the impression of perhaps someone minor doing crack. It takes the tragic away and makes the whole scene almost seem ridiculous. An old doll would have worked better, in my opinion, for it is more the sign of innocence and purity. I think a doll would make a better contrast to the drug in the foreground. The teddybear suggest harmlessness. I can see how it could make a statement, but to me it just doesn't work. I just think "oh cute". An old (perhaps even dirty and ragged) doll would rather make me go "oh how terrible and ironic".

    I'd also prefer to see more of the spoon, perhaps a just slightly different angle would do this. Also, if the silver paper looked more crumpled, it would make it seem more real (for the crack usually comes in little packages which need unpacking first, which crumples them). A crumpled (or folded) and then flattened paper could give this impression. Right now the picture looks too neat, too clean, too orderly to give it the shocking effect I'd expect when mixing drugs with childhood-attributes like the teddy.

    What I like is the bill-roll and the angle at which it's taken, for it makes it not obvious at the first sight, yet obvious enough to recognize it at the second sight.

    I also like the idea a lot! The picture could carry a strong message.

    I hope you don't mind me speaking my mind about the picture. I didn't mean to critisize so much just for the sake of it, but I rather think that the picture has a lot of potential and I would love to see it "grow". And, after all, it's just my humble opinion and others might disagree completely.
     
  8. Marctwo

    Marctwo TPF Noob!

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    Crack comes in crystals so forget it - we're talking powder.

    You can make it a needle scene (as described earlier) or a nose scene with a mirror, note and card. I personally think a needle scene is more effective.

    The teddy for me is perfect as it implies a sexless baby rather than a doll implying a young girl.

    <edit>WOW! My spelling is getting awful! Still, it was never my strong pint. </edit>
     
  9. 'Daniel'

    'Daniel' TPF Noob!

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    Pax, not at all, I like it when people criticise my work. It's how i gt better. i'm interested ni doing stuff like this, conceptual photography i suppose. I might try and do a series around the unsavoury theme and reshoot this.
     
  10. DramaDork626

    DramaDork626 TPF Noob!

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    well, even if you are trying to make it realistic, the glaring light is a little displeasing to the eye. I'm not saying it has to be glam. It's just distracting.
     
  11. FuryofNature

    FuryofNature TPF Noob!

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    Perhaps chop the flour into Lines......it'll make it look more like coke.
     
  12. craig

    craig TPF Noob!

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    You have chosen one of the harder subjects to photograph. That is exciting because I bet some strong work will develop. Projects like these take a lot of commitment.

    Photographically the elements are there, but they seem unrealistic. The angle on the junk is off. Rarely do you view it eye level. The lamp is distracting. The teddy bear seems a little "insulting the viewers intelligence". Keep in mind that drugs (at least the ones that end in "ine") literally steal your soul. That is going to be the hardest thing to convey.
     

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