so, this would be actual label instructions on consumer goods :mrgreen: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dove soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on box bottom): Do not turn upside down. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.