What do you do when your significant other disapproves of your hobby?

[JIP]

I say we let this one die till the OP expresses some interest in seeing all the resposes. In case anyone has not noticed the OP has 1 post and has disapeared since.

 

[Alex_B]

but it seems to be an interesting thread for those posting.

 

[Bevel Heaven]

here are some photos of myself doing what I used to do [it was more than a hobby <I was sponsored etc> but I think applies here...]

OK to keep things in perspective, I quit racing after 10 years of chasing championships etc, 7 years ago. I typically spent in 1 weekend what my 70-200 f2.8 VR cost......... assuming I didn;t crash or blow up an engine.

Now I just photograph other racers.... I am still in the motorcycle racing world, but there isn;t any risk on the backside of my camera. So my wife is kewl with me still going to the racetrack....

Everything is relative. I spent more than $30K preparing my GSX-R to race.... I spent maybe $5K on all my camera gear [I don;t even pay attention so I may be WAY under estimating]. My wife 'approves'.

I do find myself obsessing on all things photo [gear wise + how to improve my photography etc] and that is what I have to get a handle on. I have recently bought then sold 4 different lens and 2 different bodies... I have a hit-list of lens that I want still and constantly read reviews etc... THis is the stuff that bugs my wife. It takes away from "OUR TIME" and also takes away from time with my little girl.

My advise is simple. For all things there must be a balance...... find it, step up to it gradually, and let those around you get their arms around it in their own due time... Let them see the benefits to it [a happier YOU, nice photos on the wall, etc etc]. Then there is a chance that everyone can be happy. We all need something that makes us happy, something seperate from our spouse/SO. The tricky thing is sometimes convincing them that our time doing that thing is a benefit to them too....

 

[gmarquez]

playful fight with my husband teasing me about taking my camera everywhere...husband would never even take/look at a photo unless he had to...and even he, my husband, told me to just pick one and get it, rather than obsessing endlessly...it cost $550 he just went crazy and wouldn't talk to me...keep hanging up on me and not answer me...he dislikes photography and everything that's related to it...You really feel invalidated as a person when your loved one could care less about your hobby.

*Sigh* It sounds to me that he actually HATES photography. Have you talked to him about this? I suspect that he feels that it is a silly and expensive hobby, and may be thinking to himself, "why would any rational person spend so much money on a useless toy?". There may also be issues about the "types of people" he thinks become photographers (ie he might have very negative stereotypes about photographers, and those that enjoy photography).

In any case, it sounds like he may have an intense dislike for photography, and anything related to it. This may sound a little harsh, but he may have wanted you to hurry up and get on with your purchase because the very act of sharing your decision making process was giving him pain, as in "I love my wife and want to support her, but I wish she'd stop talking about that silly photography stuff!"

As for the price (even though it was not his money), he may have been thinking "I can't believe she would spend $550 on such a silly hunk of junk!" It may have been similar to how you might feel if he bought a wadded up piece of newspaper for $550.

This is all conjecture on my part, and I can't give you any solid advice, other than maybe find out why he may dislike photography so much. Then go from there. It may come down to you not sharing your excitement of photography with him, if it drives him crazy. In that case, make up a budget that you both can live with, and try to share your love of photography with family and friends. Eventually you may be able to get him to have a grudging admiration for your hobby, but maybe not.

Anyways, what do I know, I'm just going off of your post, so please take everything I've written with a big grain of salt.

 

[YoungRebel]

What if I will want to get a new lens in the future? What if I will want different accessories? I wanted to be honest with him rather than just buy the thing and tell him it was $300, even though it wasn't his/our money but a present from my parents. But with such a strong reaction it really makes me want to be less open in the future. You would think that since you are doing the right thing by telling the truth, everything should be fine?

Just tell him the "truth" next time....

BUT keep this in mind:

There is truth in every lie

 

[JerryPH]

Considering the fact that the OP never posted more than once on this board, I think we can assume that her husband disapproved of one more thing in her... posting on the net.

How sad that some people have to be control freaks to the detriment of the quality of life of another human being.

 

[JayJay65]

Stay true to how you feel.. Dont let him change it because of how he feels.. Im 17, I get extremely good grades in school, i nearly am good at everything i do, but i cant stick with it.. Photography, ahh.. so much room to improve, and im not perfect at it, its something that takes me through my life.. Its like my way of being life successful and still the same enjoyment as that of video games.. Its a life long happyness.. If you feel the same way, dont let him change that.. Stay true to what you love.. Plus, who said you need his permission to like photography?

 

[JIP]

God please can we just let this one die???? The OP posted this in October and has not had one post since. She was obviously a troll or did not care so just let it go please!!!.

 

[snra786]

I told my significant other, that my website and photography are my "little babies", she seemed to understand a little better once I put it like that. It's hard when other people don't realize the passion that photographers have for their "hobby".

 

[usayit]

After reading through this thread... I feel so freakin lucky that my wife has rarely prevented me from enjoying things that I enjoy.... I have dozens of interests/hobbies that I juggle and most cost $.

Hell.. she's been extremely understanding with my rather large spending habits in photography... She always said that she doesn't mind as long as the bills are paid and food is on the table (and I work extra to keep up).

 

[JIP]

PLeeeeeeezze let it go!!!!!!!
Can't some admin lock it????

 

[BAB]

Seems like there are more issues here than photography. A relationship should not be about control and there should be mutual respect, not just for each other as people, but for each others needs and passions. Your passion for photogrpahy should not be a problem in the relationship, assuming it is not a financial drain on the family budget or is in someway insensitive or inappropriate to the relationship. The fact that your husband dislikes photography is irrelevant, that is his choice and he has that right, as you have the right to a hobby or potential career path. It can be good for a relationship to not only have common or shared interests, but different ones as well.

 

[den9]

its a sad world, i feel bad for someone like that

 

[Lorielle99]

kick em to the curb! if he loved you he would support you no matter what your hobby is

 

[Mike_E]

If you want to talk about this subject, please start a new thread.

The OP only posted ONCE and doesn't appear to be coming back. She is not listening (reading).