Who wants to help critique my resume?

Mashburn

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So my goal is to get into the NFL. and it is not about money to me, it is just something I love doing the most with my photography. I have worked on commercial/product photography and felt I got lucky. worked with a few MMA promoters who did ammy and Pro events. And do major cheer events. and then I have my wedding. but everything comes from knowing someone. How the heck do you get into the NFL with not knowing anyone?

or what about if I wanted to run a business of being the schools photographers for their events and portrait??? I have worked for studios that have done it, but I would love to start that up on my own.

so in any case should I be listing the projects I have worked on? What should I do to make someone say wow? and etc?.... if someone says I need to step into the newspaper world, I will. Because I am not looking for an answer to landing me a job tomorrow of my dreams. But I am looking for one that can get me there in 5-20 years.

Thanks,
GoldenHourStudios.net
 
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Not going to write it for you but avoid using redundant words. With With in the first sentences. Also shorten verbage and use more more intellectual terms such as interdependently in place of "alone" and so on and so on.

Nobody reads these things after the first paragraph if their bored to death. Keep it short and concise and stop padding it.

That's all for your literature lesson today. :D
 
Yes. It is perfect in every way. Hello NFL! here comes Mashburn!
 
Not going to write it for you but avoid using redundant words. With With in the first sentences. Also shorten verbage and use more more intellectual terms such as interdependently in place of "alone" and so on and so on.

Nobody reads these things after the first paragraph if their bored to death. Keep it short and concise and stop padding it.

That's all for your literature lesson today. :D
Lol, yeah I'm not expecting you or anyone to rewrite. More so pointers of anything to add remove in context of jobs, experience, gigs, etc.

But if you think the only thing is verbiage, than I feel good. And I can hire a personal to word it for me. I am just not going to hire one that would not have an idea on what a job would be looking for in a photographer.

Thank you

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I should be the last one on here to emulate, but I do know that you've got some serious issues with the resume that you posted. My advice is to go to a professional resume writer and pay the money.

Without going into specifics, I would say that this resume is nothing at all that I would expect one would use to actually get a job with the NFL.

You've got two pages of stuff, most of which have nothing to do with sports photography. Do you have a portfolio? Preferably a portfolio of sports photography.

Good luck.
 
Sorrybit is a terrible resume, put some workinto it. You trying to be a vet kr an accountant Indont know its confusing.

Not editing this
 
I should be the last one on here to emulate, but I do know that you've got some serious issues with the resume that you posted. My advice is to go to a professional resume writer and pay the money.

Without going into specifics, I would say that this resume is nothing at all that I would expect one would use to actually get a job with the NFL.

You've got two pages of stuff, most of which have nothing to do with sports photography. Do you have a portfolio? Preferably a portfolio of sports photography.

Good luck.
How does it have nothing with sports? I have Pro/ammy Mma, cheer competitions and etc on there in my profile. Is that what I should be putting down in my experience area?

And my website is my portfolio which is listed at the top left. When you enter my page it has my weddings column, sports column, travel, etc. And all you have to do is click on sports and see what I have done.

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I'm not sure why people are giving you so much crap for asking for this type of help. I think TPF is a reasonable place for you to test your resume since you are looking for a I didn't think you were asking someone to write it for you by your post.

I work in a completely different industry, but a few things that might be helpful...

1. Find the best writer you know, and sit down with them to edit your resume. You have a lot of language errors that inhibit reading your resume.

2. Delete everything that isn't related to the job you seek, unless you have a really good reason to put it in. You've been a full-time photographer for the last 5 years and you are seeking a full-time photography job. I don't think future employers will care if you used to do accounting or worked at Circuit City.

3. Make it much, much more concise. What are you looking for first, why you are the right person for the job, what your related experience is...

4. I don't know much about photography jobs...but...shouldn't you throw a couple of photos on the resume too? I wouldn't assume someone will go look on the web for your work.


All of that being said...I think you hit the nail on the head earlier. You probably need the right connections, and probably should start spending more time shooting sports. Your resume doesn't read as a sport photographer to me. I think I'd spend as much time at local football games as possible -- high school, college, whatever. There are several people here who do a fair amount of sports photography that might be able to give you some tips on that.
 
I'm not sure why people are giving you so much crap for asking for this type of help. I think TPF is a reasonable place for you to test your resume since you are looking for a I didn't think you were asking someone to write it for you by your post.

I work in a completely different industry, but a few things that might be helpful...

1. Find the best writer you know, and sit down with them to edit your resume. You have a lot of language errors that inhibit reading your resume.

2. Delete everything that isn't related to the job you seek, unless you have a really good reason to put it in. You've been a full-time photographer for the last 5 years and you are seeking a full-time photography job. I don't think future employers will care if you used to do accounting or worked at Circuit City.

3. Make it much, much more concise. What are you looking for first, why you are the right person for the job, what your related experience is...

4. I don't know much about photography jobs...but...shouldn't you throw a couple of photos on the resume too? I wouldn't assume someone will go look on the web for your work.


All of that being said...I think you hit the nail on the head earlier. You probably need the right connections, and probably should start spending more time shooting sports. Your resume doesn't read as a sport photographer to me. I think I'd spend as much time at local football games as possible -- high school, college, whatever. There are several people here who do a fair amount of sports photography that might be able to give you some tips on that.
Thank you. what you said actually makes me want to read more. LOL.

as for adding pictures. I was curious as well......... I had one job at a studio, and they actually went to my website. but I just feel I should have something that says here is my book of what pertains to you or something. On my website it is set up in columns, so I think it would help. but still I have no stinking idea.

Also thank you for reading it in detail. I really appreciate that.

as for the grammar/language. I will be sending it to a resume place I pay for. There is some great people around me, but I trust a resume person more.
 
Sorry, re reading it it is even worse to me.

Get to the point much, much faster.

Reformat the whole thing!

Header is OK.

Put an objective. " To work for the NFL" would suffice at this point.
Delete " profile", its called a Cover letter where tou can get a bit specific to the job.

Education- Delete- your sure you want to be a photog?

Skills section, Delete. You are applying for a photography job ALL that is assumed.

Accomplishments- delete- except Photog of the year MMA

First thing I would ask you is what you won gold in " Skils USA". Pretty random info in there.

Whatever that defree is your working in better pertain to the job as well. I'll have to google it I guess.
Omg IT, awesome.

You might as well be applying to be a dishwasher is all Im saying here is a bad resume for the specific job you are looking for.
 
I checked out your site, you have some talent!

Looking at the foosball photos, out of 50 photos, I see about 6 faces, and some of them pbotos have 10+ people in them... What Im saying is only show your best photos, you may have to many on there.

People want to see faces scoring touchdowns. Or pain or whatever you watch football for Im not sure.

Delete a lot of words off your resume is my advice.

Your email should be .yourdomain name if you want it to look professional.
 
Sorry, re reading it it is even worse to me.

Get to the point much, much faster.

Reformat the whole thing!

Header is OK.

Put an objective. " To work for the NFL" would suffice at this point.
Delete " profile", its called a Cover letter where tou can get a bit specific to the job.

Education- Delete- your sure you want to be a photog?

Skills section, Delete. You are applying for a photography job ALL that is assumed.

Accomplishments- delete- except Photog of the year MMA

First thing I would ask you is what you won gold in " Skils USA". Pretty random info in there.

Whatever that defree is your working in better pertain to the job as well. I'll have to google it I guess.
Omg IT, awesome.

You might as well be applying to be a dishwasher is all Im saying here is a bad resume for the specific job you are looking for.

Skills USA, s3 magazine, MMA photographer of the South. Are accomplishments to photography.

Education. Sure it might not show photography. But it shows education. And associates degrees at that....... This is something everyone looks for.

So you want me to delete my profile and just put that in the cover letter? Not sure where you are from, but I know in Germany they have a page of a cover letter. But not here in America. Profiles are a very common thing in resumes, and cover letters are way different than across seas. And if you put your goal of where you want to be, you can forget about any other job wanting to hire you.

As for my work history. It shows a history and not someone sitting on their butt.

I'm not trying to be rude here. But honestly you seem to know very little about resumes. So cut the trying to be a prick.

If I was to show up with having only my business on there with things I have done. Zero education. No other job history. And saying my goal is to use them as a stepping stone. I have zero chance of getting an interview.

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I checked out your site, you have some talent!

Looking at the foosball photos, out of 50 photos, I see about 6 faces, and some of them pbotos have 10+ people in them... What Im saying is only show your best photos, you may have to many on there.

People want to see faces scoring touchdowns. Or pain or whatever you watch football for Im not sure.

Delete a lot of words off your resume is my advice.

Your email should be .yourdomain name if you want it to look professional.

Reason I have so many 50+ photos in football is so it shows different teams. 2 NFL teams, and then semi pro teams.

I might add/remove some. To make room of expressions.

But I'm lost in your comment, "whatever you watch football for". Which leads me to think you are not from here or don't know football. And if you don't, than why are trying to critique my work? I mean I don't know soccer, so I'm not going to put my cents into someone.

By the way you calling it "foosball". Lol.

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Yeah sorry just trying to inject levity because I was being too negative. Foosball etc...

Back to the negativity; Im not a big fan of football. I did however watch the superbowl, that was freaking amazing.

I really dislike bad resumes.

I was doing an interview once and they had as a current employment " Owner of bla bla bla Photography".
I went straight to that and the whole thin fell apart real quick. They were not applying for a photography job. They were a bit bewildered I wanted to talk photography, if they couldn't handle that, keep it off the resume please!

People put rediculous things on resumes as filler all the time, and resume READERS see right through it. Dont waste the readers time, which you are doing by pasting words straight off your website.... at least take the time to re write the thing.

By the way what was your skill award?!?!
 

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