Why bother asking if you don't want any help?

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by Garbz, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. Garbz

    Garbz No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    I don't get it. 2 years I've been very active on this forum. Longer than that I've been lurking around. Yet only in the last 2 months I have ever needed to use the ignore button. And now twice!

    Why do some people post questions and then complain to people who are trying to answer? It makes no sense at all. If you don't want to hear people's opinions then why bother posting in a forum at all?

    If you're reading this and your feel guilty you probably are :grumpy:

    /Edit: where is the whining forum, it left too soon I didn't even get a chance to use it!
     
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  2. Ajay

    Ajay TPF Noob!

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    You've totally read my mind.
     
  3. Senor Hound

    Senor Hound TPF Noob!

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    Sometimes people don't quite understand how harsh some people on here can be, and they get their feelings hurt. I had this happen to me when someone told me my shot was a "throw away." It didn't seem like criticism as much as an insult, and I took it personally, as if he were attacking me and not my photo.

    Anyway, I kind of agree with you, but kind of don't. You shouldn't stick your neck out, asking for criticism, if you don't want to take the chance of it getting cut off. But then some people on here intentionally say things in a rude, arrogant, and hateful tone, and its totally unnecessary. But that is life. You cannot control others actions, but you can control how you react to certain things. If we all could learn some ways to chill out, relax and count to ten, we might be better off.

    Maybe some meditation for TPF? *ohmmmmmmmm, the sound of the universe is flowing through me... ohmmmmmmmm*

    Edited to add: It just occurred to me that you probably can't read this since I'm on your ignore list. :)
     
  4. lostprophet

    lostprophet No longer a newbie, moving up!

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    there was a wine forum?? :cheers:
     
  5. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    Probably because you are not giving them the answers they want to hear.
     
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  6. Hawaii Five-O

    Hawaii Five-O My alter-egos have been banned. :( Now I must be

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    I think he may of meant the winning forum:er:
     
  7. Hawaii Five-O

    Hawaii Five-O My alter-egos have been banned. :( Now I must be

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    I admit it! I laughed at the dead squirrel lying upside down in the street, stop harassing mee!:x
     
  8. Overread

    Overread has a hat around here somewhere Staff Member Supporting Member

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    so the solution is:
    When you ask for advice please tell us what you want the advice to say ;)
     
  9. Hawaii Five-O

    Hawaii Five-O My alter-egos have been banned. :( Now I must be

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    That could work for some people. They could put an astrik at the end of their question* and at the bottom of the page another astrik and really small font what our answer should be!:sexywink:





    * lol pfft!
     
  10. Alpha

    Alpha Troll Extraordinaire

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    The answer is grow a pair or stop asking questions.
     
  11. Hertz van Rental

    Hertz van Rental TPF Noob!

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    If you have ever had dealings with the public you would understand what I meant.
    Most people know at a subconscious level what they want to hear but some are to lazy - or stupid - to express it to themselves. Thus, when they ask a question they want to hear what they are expecting and get cross if you come up with something different.
    For example, someone posts a picture and asks for a critique. What they are really after is reassurance, not a critique. They want to be told that their image is good and that they are great photographers.
    Say anything else and you are dead.
    It's like when someone has a personal problem that they need to sort out and ask you for advice. They deep down know what they have to do but want you to reassure them that it is the right course of action.
    Understand that about people and you will not go far wrong in your dealings with them :D
     
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  12. Senor Hound

    Senor Hound TPF Noob!

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    I've dealt with the public in every job I've had, and never have I run into people who were like this. Its all in how you speak to them.

    [rant]

    Its not that they want to be told their good, they just don't want to be told they're bad. And there is a difference, and is by no means just symantics. Some of the people on here, even ones who are great photographers are HORRIBLE critics. Critique is something that takes finesse and skill. If you tell someone their photo sucks, you are not doing them any good. If you tell them in a negative way, you are not doing them any good. People need to be told in a constructive, positive way (people respond much better to positive reinforcement than negative) before they will LISTEN to you and make the changes. You can reassure someone and critique them at the same time, if you really want to. But the problem is these arrogant folks post with no intention of the person getting better, but simply post to help further the idea they are superior. Even an excellent photographer can be a troll. "Troll," a state of mind, not a skill set.

    How about when you post a critique to someone, you respond as if they were a very close friend of yours, or someone in your family. This will help create the empathy and understanding necessary to help make your points more convincing to the person posting photos. If you don't care whether or not they take your advice, then you have no place in posting, no matter what your ability. And if still talk that way to people in your own family, then you are truly lost. This isn't rocket science, people.

    [/rant]
     

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